Blogs, Life style, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized, हिन्दी

सास बहु कैसे बने सहेली, रिश्तों की सबसे बड़ी पहेली

सभी रिश्तों में सबसे उलझा एवं मुश्किल रिश्ता होता है सास बहु का। दो औरतें जब बहनें हों, मित्र हों, पार्क में रोज़ मिलती हों; एक प्यारा सा रिश्ता अकसर बनाने में सफल हो जाती हैं। पर न जाने क्यूँ जब वे सास बहु बनती हैं तो चाहते हुए भी वैसा रिश्ता नहीं बना पाती।

आज कल सास बहु का रिश्ता काफी बदल रहा है किन्तु अभी भी कहीं बहु के मन में और कहीं सास के मन में एक उम्मीद बनी रहती है कि काश हमारी बहु बेटी की तरह होती। कहते हैं कि ताली दोनों हाथों से बजती है, यह सच है। जब तक दोनों अपना हाथ आगे नहीं बढाएंगी तब तक ताली नहीं बजेगी और दोनों सहेली नहीं बन पाएगी।

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इसके कुछ कारण जो मैं समझती हूं वो है –

1. इसका पहला कारण है कि दोनों एक दूसरे को समझ नहीं पाती। मां अपने बच्चे को शुरु से ही देखती आ रही है इसलिए वह उसकी अच्छाई व बुराई सब समझ पाती है। सास बहु का रिश्ता एक दम नया होता है, इसलिये समय तो देना चाहिए।

2. दो घरों की विविधता इस रिश्ते में कठिनाई का कारण बनती हैं, चाहे वह समान धर्म के लोग हों या अलग धर्म के। पौधे का हवा पानी बदलता है तो वो मुरझा जाता है। एक नव विवाहिता भी उसी पौधे के समान होती है।

3. उम्र का फर्क भी बहुत मायने रखता है। बड़े लोग आसानी से अपने आप को बदल नहीं पाते और उनमें एक आधिपत्य की भावना होती है, फिर वह मां ही क्यों न हो। ऐसे में बहु की महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका होती है। बहु को थोड़ा समझना चाहिए।

4. अहम को छोड़ देना चाहिए। जब तक “मैं” रहेगी, चाहे वह सास मे हो या बहु मे, रिश्ता कभी नहीं बन पाएगा। एक ने कही दूसरे ने मानी, इसी का नाम बुद्धिमानी। किन्तु कोई ज़रूरी नहीं कि हर बार न चाहते हुए भी हां करें। चार बार कहना मानें तो एक बार नहीं भी मानेंगे तो चलेगा।

5. बच्चों से सीखना चाहिए। अभी झगड़ा हुआ और अभी मेल मिलाप हो गया। कभी किसी बात पर वाद विवाद हो भी जाए तो उसको भूलना ही बेहतर है। यदी उस झगड़े को लेकर आगे बढेंगे तो कभी दोस्त नहीं बन पाएंगे।

6. किसी भी रिश्ते में मर्यादा का ध्यान रखना ज़रूरी होता है। हर व्यक्ति का अपना द्रष्टिकोण होता है। उसके द्रष्टिकोण को भी उतनी ही एहमियत देनी चाहिए जितनी स्वयं को। झुकने मे कोई व्यक्ति छोटा नहीं हो जाता।

7. अपनी गलतियों को भी देखना व पहचानना चाहिए और सुधारना चाहिए और जितनी जल्दी हो सके माफी मांगना चाहिए।

8. किसी भी रिश्ते मे 100 प्रतिशत तो नहीं मिलते। इसलिए यदि जो हमारी ओर से 50% है, यदि हम वो सारा दे दें तो दूसरी ओर से 25% तो मिल ही जाएगा। 75% अच्छा होने से वह रिश्ता अच्छा ही होता है।

9. सास , बहु और वो। यह वो हर जगह परेशान करता है। पति, पत्नी और वो के रिश्ते की तरह इस रिश्ते में भी कोई तीसरा आए, चाहे वो कोई भी हो तो मन मुटाव बढ़ जाता है। किसी दूसरे की बात पर ध्यान न देकर आपसी मत भेद को आपस मे ही मिटाए तो अच्छा रहता है। फोन पर कभी सास अपनी बेटी से या बहु नी मां से अगर एक दूसरे की बुराई करें तो वह भी दरार का कारण बनती है। यहां तक कि पति और ससुर को भी इस रिश्ते से दूर रखना चाहिए।

10. बहु की बेटी से या दूसरे कि बहुओं से और सास की मां से या फिर दूसरे की सास से तुलना न करें। आशाएं न रखें। किसी ने कुछ कर दिया तो भी अच्छा और अगर न किया तो भी अच्छा। उनकी क्षमता को देखते हुए व्यवहार करना चाहिए। क्षमता से बाहर तो मां भी अपनी बेटी को मना कर देती है। यदि मां डांटें तो कोई बात नहीं और यदि सास ने कुछ कहा तो मुहल्ले मे ढिंढोरा पीट दिया, ऐसा भी नहीं होना चाहिए।

जानती हूँ कि कहना आसान होता है पर करना मुश्किल, फिर भी कोशिश तो करी जा सकती है आखिर घर भी हमारा है और रिश्ते भी। और वैसे भी, तोड़ने से बेहतर तो जोड़ना ही है।

Blogs, Life style, parenting, Uncategorized

Motherhood – Where Every Phase Brings in a New Challenge #MondayMommyMoments

 

Motherhood is indeed a very challenging phase. It is a phase that changes a woman completely. So much so, that I cannot even recognise myself now. But there is one thing which I know about myself now and that is I am a mother. Before that I had many words in my dictionary to describe myself but now one word sums me up completely i.e. A Mother.

When my elder one was born, I used to think that perhaps handling a new born is the most difficult phase. Soon, she turned two and I felt “Oh My God! This is terrible.” Her tantrums were beyond control. I assured myself then that perhaps this is the most difficult phase. It will be better once she grows up a little.

Then, started her schooling. Every morning, half an hour used to be the crying time; “I don’t want to go to school!”

Again, I consoled myself, “This too shall pass”.

Ultimately, we sailed through. Now, again years have gone by, I am a mother of two now.  But Motherhood challenges seems to be unending.

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The New Born:

Be it a new born baby or should I call “the new born mom”, this is the challenge where both simply do not know each other. How to do? What to do? At times, even “why am I here?” “why do I have to be surrounded in poops and vomits all the times?” “Can someone handle the baby while I can go peacefully to the loo?”

With a new born in hand, I often found myself clueless. “Is the baby alright while sleeping?” “Did I miss the sound of the burp?”

It’s okay moms. You are doing just fine and the baby is fine too. No need to stress yourself too much there.

Toddler Tantrums

Not only the terrible twos but my kids have been throwing tantrums much after that. I don’t know when they will stop doing so. They copy each other and follow each other’s footsteps just to get our attention. For handling a toddler, one needs to be a pro in diverting the kid’s attention.

The Fussy Eater

Another big challenge for a mom is too deal with the fussy eating habits of her child. Whatever is served to them will rarely go down their tummies. I remember how I ended up over eating myself with the leftover food of my kids and resulted in few extra kilos of weight on myself.

Then spotting a pigeon in the balcony came to my rescue. I would love to thank all the pigeons and crows that perched my balcony when my toddler would throw a tantrum while eating. Spotting a pigeon always helped me in diverting her attention and make her eat a bite or two.

The Pre-Schooler and the Senior School Going

Now, when one of my girls is going to Grade 4 and another one is in kindergarten, managing their studies at the same time becomes a challenge. At the time when I was not a mother, I could easily handle 40 students in my classroom. Now, teaching two at home has become terrible.

You keep any number of stationery and still the eraser is forever missing. All the sharpened pencils suddenly lose their tips.

Patience, Patience and some more Patience

In between all these challenges, one thing which goes amiss is your patience. The biggest challenge then becomes is to take hold of your sanity and patience. Once you get hold of it, other things start falling in place.

So, all the mommies out there, what are your challenges in this beautiful journey of motherhood? Do share with me.

A fellow blogger shares her wonderful thoughts on the same topic. 

Enjoy reading her thoughts Amrita andDeepa .

This post has been written for #MondayMommyMoments. 

(Follow on Twitter @DeepaGandhi1 and @misra_amrita )

 

 

 

Blogs, Life style, Reviews, Uncategorized

Mother Sparsh Product Review

Nowadays, the markets are flooded with a range of baby products. We can see newer brands coming up every other day in Baby Bath range. Recently, I got a chance to try Mother Sparsh Baby Bath Range. I had tried Mother Sparsh Lal Tail earlier and quite liked it, so I was convinced to try more products from the same brand. The brand provides 100% Ayurvedic products. The products are parabens free, phthalates free and thus “worry free”.

Mother Sparsh Baby Bath range comprises of Baby Powder, Baby Soap, Baby Body Wash and Baby Lotion. Every child is different and has different skincare requirements too. Based on the skin type of the baby one can choose which product to go in for from this range.

Mother Sparsh Baby Soap

Mother Sparsh Baby Soap has olive oil and almond oil as its key ingredients. It has all the natural ingredients and is 100% chemical free. It cleanses and moisturises the body well. Kids spend a lot of time in bathing and love to play in water, Mother Sparsh Baby Soap remains gentle on their delicate skin.

A very reasonably priced one, it comes in the shape of a rectangular white bar of 75 grams priced at INR 48.

It is available on their official site as well as leading e commerce sites.

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Mother Sparsh Baby Powder

Mother Sparsh Baby Powder is enriched with Tulsi and Aloe Vera. It is 100% Ayurvedic. The key ingredients are Tulsi, neem and ghritkumari. A very soothing powder on baby’s delicate skin. The fragrance is long lasting and refreshing. It keeps the baby’s skin dry and sweat free during the summers and monsoons. It prevents the itchiness caused by sweat in the summer heat.

The beautiful white 100 gm bottle is priced at INR 62. It can be purchased from their official website as well as on leading e commerce sites.

Mother Sparsh Baby Body Wash

I liked the Baby Body Wash which has the no tears formula. It is parabens free and silicon free. The key ingredients of this product are Aloe Vera, Tulsi, Neem and Haldi. It is very mild and gentle.  It does not make the skin dry after bathing. The sweet fragrance is quite long lasting.

The price for a 100ml bottle is about INR 85 which makes it extremely pocket friendly.

Mother Sparsh Baby Lotion

My personal favourite in this range is the Baby Lotion. The key ingredients of this product are Olive Oil, Aloe Vera, Wheat Kernal Oil and Fruit Oil. It spreads easily and gets quickly absorbed. It helps in making the baby’s skin soft and supple. It moisturises the skin thoroughly and leaves a lasting fragrance.

It comes in a beautiful white bottle of 100 ml which is priced at INR 85.

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Blogs, Children, Life style, parenting, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Parent Teacher Relationship: Don’t criticize, Lets Coordinate

 This post was first published on mycity4kids : https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/parent-teacher-relationship-don-t-criticise-lets-coordinate

The Conversation that rules:

Every day, when I go to pick up my daughter from the bus stop, a general discussion starts among the mothers. It generally revolves around their ward’s school performance and most importantly their teachers. Often the mothers accuse the teachers for their children’s unsatisfactory academic performance.

A common conversation is heard:

Mother 1: “How’s the new class teacher of your child? My daughter’s teacher is very strict. Yesterday, she scolded her for no reason.”

Mother 2: “Even my child’s teacher is not good. She doesn't acknowledge his good work. He has improved his handwriting so much but the teacher doesn't even appreciate her efforts. At least, one star or smiley can be given to boost the confidence.”

Mother 3: “Teachers these days are least bothered. They don't even teach well. I have hired a tutor for my son.”

The Constant Judgement:

Just then the bus arrives, mothers immediately ask their children,

“What happened in school today? What did Ma’am say? Did she scold you even today?” Based on the child’s remarks, they form a judgement about the teachers. If the child says, “Ma’am appreciated me in front of the whole class”, the teacher is termed as “good”. Sometimes children accuse teachers for being unfair and biased. “My teacher always appreciates Jasmine, she never gives me stars.” Parents immediately label the teacher as “ineffective” or “partial”. This way we constantly judge the teachers.

Similarly, the teachers also judge the parents based on the child’s uniform, behavior, homework, projects, handwriting, etc. If the child’s handwriting is good, notebooks are neat and clean, the teacher thinks that the parents are involved in the child’s education. The parents are “good”, if the child’s homework is “good”.

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The Blame Game:

If there is some problem with the child, the teacher often blames the parents as being irresponsible and negligent. They would immediately call the parents to rectify it. The parents also accuse the teacher as being inefficient if their child’s results are unsatisfactory. They blame the teachers for their child’s poor grades and bad behavior. They want the teacher to be changed. This kind of mistrust and lack of respect for each other adversely affects the child.

At home front also, a similar scenario exists. Whenever the child gets poor grades or misbehaves, parents blame each other and holds the other responsible for it.

Whenever the parents and the teacher blame each other for the child’s misconduct, the one who suffers the most is the child. The child begins to disrespect and disobey the teachers and the parents.

Forming a Team:

Parents and teachers share the same goal i.e. the overall development of the child. When they share the same goal, they should form a team and work together to achieve it. Instead of judging and blaming each other, they should trust and respect each other. This way the child will also learn to respect and obey them. The child will also learn to trust them and stop complaining about them.

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Communication and Coordination:

Teachers and parents must have a positive and regular communication. In this way, they can establish a healthy relationship and diminish blaming. Teachers can communicate with the parents about the strengths and weaknesses of the child. Similarly, the parents can also communicate with the teachers about the problems which might be affecting the child’s performance and behavior in school. Similarly, the parents should trust and help each other in the upbringing of the child at home. In this way, they can have a coordination which can do wonders for the betterment of the child.

Would you like to read more about teachers? Read this wonderful blog by Charu Sareen Gujjal here.

 

Blogs, Children, Life style, parenting, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Teacher: Sharing our Burden and Caring For Our Children

This article was first published on mycity4kids: https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/teacher-sharing-our-burden-and-caring-for-our-children

Recently I was facing some problems in my home front due to which I couldn't send my daughter to school, she told me that she was selected for a participation in an event in her school. It was very important to attend her school. I was in a dilemma. On the one hand, was the situation which required my immediate attention and on the other hand, was my daughter’s auditions in her school.

“What should I do now? If she doesn't go to her school, she will miss her auditions. Her participation is very important for her.” I kept thinking. 

I thought of talking to her teacher. I sent her a message telling her about my problem. She told me that she would consider. I felt as if a burden was lifted off my shoulders.

Two years back, when I was expecting my second baby, I had certain complications and was advised bed rest. I could pay very little attention on my daughter's studies which started affecting her academic performance. I sent a message to her class teacher and informed her about my condition. Her teacher understood our problems and helped my daughter a lot. She not only provided academic help but gave her emotional support as well. Her immense love and care helped my daughter in sailing through even those days when I was in the hospital. I felt very grateful to her for all that she did for us.

This kind of informal interaction with the teachers has always helped me and my daughter in solving her problems at home or at school. I would like to thank all the teachers who not only take care of our children in school but give more than their usual time for the betterment of our children.

Having an informal and healthy interaction with the teachers is a very important asset and can prove to be very helpful in our children’s development. We can discuss the problems faced by our children on a day to day basis. Earlier, we could meet the teachers only on parent teacher meetings which were formal interactions. We could only discuss the result and report cards of the child.

Parent-teacher-Conference

We expect so much from the teachers of our children. We lay the entire responsibility of the academic development of our children on them. The teacher gets to spend only half an hour per subject in a classroom of over 40 students. She must include so many things in her curriculum and look after many aspects. How can we expect her to excel each child in every sphere?

At home, at times, we find it difficult to teach our kids. We often hire tutors for our children to teach them. In school, a teacher must teach so many students in a class wherein each child is unique and has different capabilities. It would be unfair on our part to expect a teacher to know and understand every child’s caliber and potential.

The parent teacher meetings that are conducted at regular intervals are also very helpful in the development of our children. It gives the parent an opportunity to interact not only with the teachers but also with other parents as well. We can thus bond with other parents too. This way we can get to know the areas where our child is doing well and where he needs our support.

PTM board

If we want our child to excel, we must interact informally with the teachers regularly. We should also take out time to attend the parent teacher meeting. It helps the teacher in getting to know our child better. Since the aim of both the teacher and the parent is same, we must bridge the gap between the parent teacher relationship and work together as a team for an all-round development of our child.