Celebrating The Uniqueness Every Child is blessed with

Every child is unique and is blessed with different qualities. Some children are friendlier, social and confident. They feel at ease even in the presence of complete strangers whereas there are others who would often keep to themselves and feel happier when they are at home doing the activities they like.
Everyone is born with different personality traits. It’s the way they are and the way they feel comfortable. The extroverts tend to gain more acceptance and popularity with their social skills and that is much more appreciated. On the other hand, the introverts take a long time to open up and find it difficult to exhibit their calibre and talents which tends to remain hidden inside them.
Being an introvert myself, I know how difficult it is to make friends and reach out to people. How uncomfortable and alienated I used to feel in the company of people. Even now I don’t have anybody to call as a friend but that is the way I am and that is the way how I feel happy. It’s about being comfortable in one’s own skin. In the absence of likeminded people, sometimes one finds a great company within oneself.
My two daughters are poles apart. The elder one is my rock star who happily greets everyone she meets in her way. Quite opposite to her is my little songbird, who sings her own songs happily at home. My rock star loves going outdoors whereas my song bird prefers staying indoors. I love both of them for they have their own luminosity.
There were times when, my little one would cry endlessly whenever we had to go out of the house even for an outing specifically for the kids. She would prefer playing alone in the park and avoid company. It started bothering me when it was time for her to get admission in school.
I took her to the day care of the play school I was planning for her. I took her there for two hours initially and stayed in the school. I helped her to get familiar with the school environment and the staff there. During the summer holidays, I enrolled both my girls in the summer camp of the same play school. My little one started feeling more confident and secured in the company of her sister.
After holidays, when I enrolled her in the play group of that school, she was completely comfortable and well adjusted. Gradually, with a lot of love and encouragement, she has become confident and open to people. Although, she feels happier at home but she has opened up and started making friends on her own. Now, when we take her to a new place, she takes some time initially but gradually becomes friendly.
This positive change in her makes pen down a few points which helped me in opening up and now helping my little song bird.

introvert retreat Image courtessy: introvert retreat
1. Be involved with the child:
An introvert child will never ask for your company but it is not that they don’t want it either. They might be too shy to come to you. Be with them. Spend time with them in doing the activities of their choice. It helps them feel more confident and connected. It will help the child in getting his personal space at the same time he will bond with you.
2. Don’t humiliate them publicly or label them in front of anybody:
An introvert child will become more introvert and lose confidence if the elders make fun of him in public or start labelling him as “rude”, “shy guy”, “arrogant” or “introvert”. Appreciate them for being the way they are. He might be more talented than what you think. His being shy does not make him weak rather he has more strength to stand alone.
3. Never force the child to meet and greet others:
Give the child time to get to know and familiarise with new people and new situations. They just need a little more time than others in adapting to new situations. Help them in feeling comfortable to new surroundings and new people. It’s alright if they do not like to be kissed or hugged. Give them other options of greeting their elders. Help them familiarise in new surroundings by offering or showing them some familiar things.
4. Don’t let the child feel neglected:
Let the child feel that you love him and is proud of him for the way he is. You are with him, even if he doesn’t want to be among the strangers. Your constant love and support will help introvert children in coming out of their shells. Let them feel that you are all ears for them whenever they wish to express themselves.
5. Don’t criticise them:
Criticism and judgement is what they are afraid of and makes them shy away. Appreciation and positive encouragement is what they long for. Appreciate and encourage them even for their smallest achievement. Even if the child tried to speak a few words in the school function, he needs a big applause. For he had put a lot of effort to be on the stage and face the audience.

This support and understanding from my parents helped me a lot in becoming more confident and connecting with people. With the same love, support and encouragement, we have noticed a big difference in my little shy bird. She is becoming more confident, talkative and outgoing.
Do share with me your views and tips too to help an introvert child become friendlier.

This post is a part of the blog chain #MMM or #MondayMommyMoments. This post is in link up with my fellow bloggers Deeepa and Amrita.

cover image: sesame street india





A Birthday Party Organised By My Daughter

I have been thinking for quite some time about how and when to start teaching my daughter about the wise use of money. She maintains a piggy bank and puts all the money which she gets in that. I wanted to teach her some more about the value of money.

This year on her birthday I asked her if I give her 500₹, will she be able to organise her birthday party in that. I would help her in planning and working on the details. She was very excited with the thought. She told me that she would like to work with the details and then decide whether she could do it or not.

She made a list of 10 friends. She asked me to take her to the market and take a look at the snacks that we could serve. We went there but she was not very happy with the readymade snacks as she had got bored of them. She wanted some different and tasty snacks. On our way back home, she started telling me about dishes and snacks which her friends brought in their lunch and how they enjoy sharing them during their lunch time in school. She wanted those dishes in her party.

I suggested that perhaps she can ask them to bring those dishes instead of presents and they can share them at our party. She called up her friends and made her request. All of them agreed with her. Thus, it was decided that her friends would bring a homemade dish to be shared amongst themselves instead of any birthday presents.

Next we came to decorations. She had seen in her school that whenever there are some celebrations, her teacher decorates the class with the art and craft objects made by the students. She came up with a number of ideas on decorations learnt from her school. We made a few cutouts, drawings and other craft objects. She also decided to hang her toys, balloons and some origami creations which she always keeps with her. She could thus save on decorations too.

She had got a dress from her aunt as a birthday present in advance. She suggested that she would wear that and did not want any other dress. I was amazed when she said, “Mom, it will be a waste of money if we buy a new dress when I already have a new party dress given by my aunt.”

She asked me if I could bake a chocolate cake at home. She would decorate it with chocolate syrup, choco-chips and gems. We make it often at home. She had learnt a number of drinks during her summer camp which she could prepare herself.

When everything was planned, she told me that she doesn’t need that money and she would put it in her piggy bank. She asked her grandmother to give her a rose bouquet as a present. She took out the roses and put them on “thank you” cards which she made herself for everyone as a return gift.

She learnt a few magic tricks which her grandfather had been showing her. She said that she would impress her friends with her magic tricks. They would be entertained also with them.

She surprised me by saying that she could save all the money and celebrate her birthday too. It will be a different party and she would enjoy it too. When she told me the whole programme, I was overwhelmed and had tears rolling down my eyes.

This post is in a link up with #MondayMommyMoments. Read Deepa and Amrita‘s post as link ups.

This post was published on mycity4kids : https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/a-cost-friendly-birthday-party-organised-by-my-daughter

Image Courtesy : Pinterest


मेरे विघ्नहरता और मैं 

इस वर्ष 25 अगस्त को गणेश चतुर्थी का आरम्भ होगा और 5 सितम्बर को समापन होगा।

आजकल गणेश चतुर्थी का महत्व बढता जा रहा है और अब इस त्यौहार को देश के हर कोने मे मनाया जाता है। गणपति भगवान विघ्नहरता माने जाते हैं। लोग गणेश भगवान की मूर्ति को घरों व मन्दिरो मे भी स्थापित करते हैं और फिर कोई पांच दिन व कोई दस दिन बाद धूमधाम से इसका विसर्जन करते हैं।

पिछले कुछ वर्षों से मेरी भी आस्था इस त्यौहार मे बढती जा रही है। जैसे ही पास के मंदिर मे गणपति जी को स्थापित करने का जुलूस धूमधाम से निकलता है तो मानो मेरे कदम खुद ब खुद उनकी तरफ खिचे चले जाते हैं। पूरे हर्ष उल्लास के साथ उसमें शामिल होती हूँ। सच मे जो भक्त भगवान की स्थापना मे व्यस्त होते हैं उनकी श्रद्धा और सहयोग देखकर मन भाव विभोर हो जाता है।गणपति भगवान की वो बढी सी आलीशान मूर्ति को जिस प्यार और श्रद्धा के साथ स्थापित करते हैं तो यूं लगता है की मानो वो स्वयं ही आ के सामने बैठे हों।

जिस एहतियात के साथ उन्हें बिठाया जाता है तो लगता है कि वे आहत न हो जाएं। ढोल, नगाड़े, नृत्य व संगीत के साथ जब जुलूस आता है और मंदिर पहुंचता है तो मन उद्वेलित हो जाता है। फिर सभी रीति रिवाजों के साथ उनकी पूजा अर्चना करना, प्रेम भाव से मिलजुल मंदिर मे एक साथ भोजन करना और पांच दिन तक एक त्योहार का सा माहौल रहता है। शाम के समय की आरती, दिन मे किसी ने अलग से पूजा , हवन या यग्य करवाना हो, ये सब देखकर लगता है कि त्योहारों का मौसम आ गया। वैसे तो त्योहारों का मौसम रक्षाबंधन से शुरु हो जाता है किन्तु गणेश चतुर्थी की बढती रौनक का अपना ही आनंद है। जिस तरह से सब लोग शाम की आरती के बाद एक साथ खाना खाते हैं, तो लगता है की गणेश जी ने अपनी भक्ति व प्रेम के एक सूत्र मे सबको बांध दिया हो।

पांच दिन तक मंदिर मे कपूर व चन्दन की महक मन को मोहित करती है। रोज़ पुष्पों से सुशोभित गणपति भगवान के दर्शन करने जाती हूँ तो वापस आने का मन ही नहीं करता। ऐसा लगता है की सामने बैठे विघ्नहरता मेरे मन की सारी बातें सुन रहे हों। बस ऐसा लगता है की यूहीं बैठे उनसे बातें करती रहूं। मन मे उठते भावनाओं के समंदर को बस वे ही सुन व समझ सकते हैं। उस समय उनके सामने बैठे एक अजीब सी आत्मिक शांति मिलती है। गणपति चतुर्थी का हर साल खास इंतजा़र रहता है।

पांच दिनों के बाद जब विसर्जन का समय आता है तो मन भावुक सा हो जाता है। किन्तु जब सब एक साथ एक स्वर मे गाते हैं, “गणपति बाप्पा मोरेया, अगले बरस तु जल्दी आ”, तो मन मे एक नई आशा जागती है और खुद को सांतवना देती हूँ की अगले वर्ष प्रभु फिर आएंगे विघ्न हरने के लिए।

आप सभी को भी मेरी ओर से गणेश चतुर्थी की बहुत बहुत शुभकामनाएं।

This post was published on mycity4kids : https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/mere-vighnaharata-aura-mai-n

cover image: desicomments.com

A Complete Guide to Deal With Frizzy Hair During Monsoons

During monsoons, it is easy to get frizzy hair, hair fall and fungal infections in hair. Back to the time when I was running a salon, almost every client of mine had queries regarding hair problems especially during this season.

They were greatly benefitted by the tips that I shared with them. I am sharing here those views and tips that helped my clients deal with frizzy hair in monsoons.

1. Oiling

Applying hair oil before every wash becomes a must in this season. Try to apply oil at least once a week. You can apply any oil of your choice. For my personal use, I used to mix mustard oil, coconut oil and amla oil in equal quantities. I used to make a bottle of this and keep it for regular use. Another very beneficial hair oil is Bhringraj oil. It is an ayurvedic oil and prevents hair fall.

2. Hair Brushing

Use a good hair brush and dry your hair naturally after wash. Avoid using hair dryer in this season. Detangle the hair with a zee comb or with fingers very gently. Use a big soft brush to smoothen your tresses.

3. Conditioners

If oiling is not your choice, then go in for conditioners. A good variety of conditioners are available in the market to suit your hair type. It is always advisable to buy from a known brand. While applying hair conditioners, take care of using it in right quantity and rinse it well after use to avoid your hair look oily.

4. Anti-frizz hair care products

Various hair care products are available to prevent hair frizz. Products like Livon, can be applied before using flat irons to straighten your hair. It helps preventing hair frizz.

5. Home Remedies

There are many home remedies which help in managing hair and preventing hair frizz.

a) Curd and Fenugreek seeds

Take one spoonful of powdered fenugreek seeds and mix it well in one cup full of curd. Keep aside this paste for half an hour. Apply this paste from roots to the length and keep it for half an hour. Rinse it off with water. Brush the hair thoroughly after drying to remove all the residue. It gives natural bounce and thickness to the hair. It does not make hair oily.

b) Gram flour and curd

Mix one teaspoon of gram flour in one cup of curd. Make a smooth paste. Apply this paste on your hair and rinse them thoroughly with water. Once the hair gets dried, brush them to get rid of any residue.

c) Beer

Got any leftover beer in an open can. Find it useful for your hair. Take the leftover beer and mix it in water. Mix one unit of leftover beer with twice the amount of water. Use this solution to give your hair a last rinse after shampoo. It helps prevent hair frizz and benefits greatly while styling your hair.

d) Vinegar solution

Dilute vinegar in water. Taking one teaspoonful of it in one glass of water. After washing the hair with shampoo, give a last rinse to them with this solution.

e) Amla powder

Mix one to two teaspoon of amla powder in one glass of water. Keep it for two hours. After washing hair with shampoo, rinse them with this amla solution. It prevents hair fall and hair frizz.

I have tried all these methods myself and have seen great difference in my hair. No more bad hair days in monsoon with this complete hair care guide for monsoons.

This post was published on mycity4kids : https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/a-complete-guide-to-deal-with-frizzy-hair-during-monsoons

Cover Image: curlcentric.com

मेरी नानी की कहानी, मेरी मां की जु़बानी

यह कहानी मेरी नहीं, मेरी मां की है। आज की

इस कहानी में जज़्बात भी उनके हैं, और अल्फाज़ भी उनके।

इसलिए इस कहानी में मैंने कोई बदलाव नहीं किए। उम्मीद करती हूँ, आपको पसंद आएगी :

मेरी शादी हुई तो मुझे मां बाप से बिछड़ने का बहुत दुख था पर सुकून था कि मैं उसी शहर में हूँ तो आती जाती रहूंगी। मेरे पिताजी की सेहत ठीक नहीं रहती थी। हालांकि वो नौकरी भी करते थे। अच्छी पोस्ट पर भी थे, मेरी शादी के बाद मुझसे मिलने भी आते थे, मेरा कोई काम होता तो अवश्य करते।

कभी कभी जब मैं अकेले होती तो यह सोच कर घबरा जाती थी कि मेरे पिताजी की तबियत ठीक नहीं रहती। उनके बहुत करीब थी। उनकी याद आखोँ में आँसु ले आती। कुछ साल बाद, उनकी

तबियत और बिगड़ने लगी। अब मैं बैठे बैठे डर जाती कि अगर मेरे पिताजी को कुछ हो गया तो? मुझे लगता था कि मेरी दुनिया वहीं रुक जाएगी। और फिर दिन ….वही हुआ…

मेरे पिताजी दफ्तर गए और वहां उनकी तबीयत खराब हुई। उन्हें जल्द अस्पताल ले जाना पड़ा। शाम को अस्पताल से खबर मिली कि पिताजी मां को याद कर रहे हैं। मां उनसे मिलने अस्पताल गई। जब घर लौटी तो बोली, “मैं खाली हाथ आ गई”। मुझे समझ नहीं आया। तब पता चला कि मां को देखते ही पिताजी ने आखिरी सांस ली और चल बसे।

अब तक तो कुछ समझ नहीं आया। ऐसा झटका लगा कि बुद्धि ने काम करना बन्द कर दिया, किन्तु पिताजी की तेरहवीं पर जब मैंने मां को सीड़ियों से उतरते देखा तो एक मिनट के लिए सांस ही रुक गई। मैंने अपनी मां को सफेद साड़ी में बिल्कुल सादे और शांत रूप में देखा। मुझे जीवन का सबसे बड़ा झटका लगा जब मैने अपनी मां को इस रुप मे देखा। तब असली एहसास हुआ कि पिताजी नहीं रहे। मैं रो रो कर बेहाल थी। बस चिल्लाई जा रही थी, “यह ठीक नहीं हुआ, यह ठीक नहीं हुआ”

उस वक्त मां ने ही मुझे सम्भाला, बोली “यही जीवन की सच्चाई है इसे जितनी जल्दी समझ लेंगे उतना ही हम लोगों के लिए अच्छा है”।

मैं अपनी मां का वो शांत रुप देख कर बिल्कुल स्तब्ध थी किन्तु मुझे शक्ति भी मिली। जीवन की सबसे कड़वी सच्चाई का मां ने इतने सहज रुप से स्वीकार किया। मुझे अपनी मां पर गर्व भी हो रहा था। मेरी मां स्कूल में अध्यापिका थी और हम पांच बहने। पिताजी की मृत्यु के समय दो की शादी हुई थी और बाकियो की होनी थी। एक छोटी बहन तो बहुत ही छोटी थी। शायद उनको देखकर मां ने संयम रखा होगा। मां ने हिम्मत के साथ मेरी दोनों छोटी बहनों को पढा लिखा कर उनका ब्याह किया। मुझे आज भी याद है, सबसे छोटी बहन के ब्याह के बाद मेरी मां पहली बार रोई थी कि सब मुझे छोड़ कर चले गए। उनका मतलब पिताजी से था। तब मुझे लगा कि मां ने कितने सालों तक वह दर्द अपने अन्दर छुपा कर रखा था ताकि उसकी बेटियाँ कमजो़र ना बनें।

आज भी मां की वो सीख याद है, “जीवन की कड़वी सच्चाईयों का सामना हिम्मत से करना चाहिए। जि़दगी तो चलती ही रहेगी। हिम्मत रखेंगे तो बड़ी से बड़ी जि़म्मेदारी भी निभा पाएंगे”। मुझे एक बात का एहसास भी हुआ कि मंजिल पर पहुंच कर ही थकान का एहसास होता है, और कहीं ना कहीं यह खुशी भी होती है कि हमने अपनी जि़म्मेदारियां अच्छे से निभाई।

यही है मां की सीख- तकलीफ मे घबराना नहीं चाहिए, हिम्मत से काम लेना चाहिए। सब समस्याएं समय के साथ हल हो जाती हैं।  


This post was published on mycity4kids : https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/meri-nani-ki-kahani-meri-ma-n-ki-jubani