Blogs, Life style, Senior Citizens, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

A Perfect Solution to A Difficult Problem

Sometimes I think that life is a jigsaw puzzle. For some people, the pieces gets fit together perfectly and for others they get all mixed up. Some problems and situations are common to all and are faced by most of the people but even then many of us find it difficult to sail through and some find out a perfect solution. One has to work very hard with each and every piece of this jigsaw puzzle in order to set it at its rightful place to create a meaningful picture.

One such story is that of my aunt, Anita, the youngest of three sisters. She was very attached to her mother who became a widow at a very young age. When she was getting married, she knew that after her marriage, her mother would be alone.

Anita was married in a joint family with father in law, mother in law, brother in law, sister in law and their kids. She created a beautiful balance in every relationship and with a lot of wisdom and patience. She completed her studies after her marriage and took up a job of a teacher in a neighborhood school.

After a few years, her family decided to renovate their house and add another floor. At that time, her mother in law suggested that she should bring her mother to live with them. She was completely taken in by this suggestion coming from her mother in law. Her husband, Sameer, further supported her and encouraged her to bring her mother in their house.

Her in laws and her husband were very broad minded and considered her mother as part of their family. They supported her in every aspect.

It was not easy though. To create a balance and form a bridge between one’s parents and in law’s needed a lot of patience, wisdom and maturity. Her mother who was a very independent person herself did not find it appropriate to live in her daughter’s house. Sameer helped Anita in persuading her mother. Sameer always considered her mother as his own. He requested her a lot assuring that he is also like his son and she would feel like home once she comes to their house.

Anita on her part treated her mother in law and mother as equal. At times, when the two would be sitting together, she gave more importance to her mother in law, so as not to let her feel insecure. She ensured that she would give equal love and respect to both of them. It resulted in creating a beautiful friendship among all the three elders. They enjoyed each others company and extended help and support whenever anyone needed. Even while the youngsters were busy with their work, the three elderly were happy giving each other company. Anita and Sameer worked together as a team to make sure that both the mothers ( Sameer’s and Anita’s) and his father were looked after well and none of them would feel neglected.

There were times, when misunderstanding would crop up, leading to situations when her mother would get upset and wanted to go back but Anita sorted out all the differences by focusing on the point of views and emotions of every family member. She tried to bridge the gaps by communicating the feelings of all the members in a rightful manner. Her wisdom enabled her to establish harmony and create peace in the house.

Her children were looked after well by all the elderly in their growing up years. The elderly felt secured and supported her to rise professionally.

In today’s scenario, when I see many elderly living alone and nobody to look after them, youngsters increasingly becoming busy with the struggles to make a living, this couple sets an example as to how by focusing on our goals and working together as a team, we can find a solution for every problem.

Girls should be wise and consider her husband’s family as her own. Similarly, boys also should give equal love and respect to his wife’s family.

Blogs, Life style, Senior Citizens, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Is Nuclear Family System The Perfect Answer?

Is Nuclear Family System The Perfect Answer?

These days nuclear family system is increasingly becoming the order of the day. Many of us opt for this kind of system out of choice and many other due to circumstances. Sometimes youngsters have to leave their parents because of better work opportunities and lifestyle. Those who have lived in joint families must have faced the advantages and disadvantages of this set up.
There are many reasons due to which joint family is losing its glory in present times. A few reasons due to which the joint family system is loosing its luster are:
1. Lack of individual space
Many times the youngsters feel that they are not given enough personal space. Their individuality gets curbed and is not given as much importance as the others.
2. Lack of a balanced communication
Members of a joint family often fail to create a balanced and open communication among themselves. There are often misunderstandings and misinterpretations creeping up due to that which results in quarrels.
3. Lack of acknowledgement
The elderly often fail to acknowledge the positive attributes that the new members bring into the family. The lack of acknowledgement of every positive aspect of every individual often causes disharmony in the family.
4. Lack of mutual cooperation
Mutual cooperation is a must to maintain a healthy relationship. In a joint family set up, lack of mutual cooperation between the family members often becomes a cause of quarrel.
5. Balance in relationships
Many joint families fail to create a balance and impartial relationship between the members, thereby giving rise to feuds.

Due to all these and many more reasons joint family system is giving way to nuclear family set up. But is that a perfect answer?
Can we really say that nuclear family system provides complete happiness?
In the modern times. The expenses are very high and in order to meet the day to day expenses and maintain a decent lifestyle, both the partners have to work. With increasing pressure in the professional front, both the partners are under constant pressure. They have hectic schedules, they leave early and come back late at night. This leaves them no room to exchange pleasantries with one another.
For the few waking hours at home, a lot of time is spent on mobiles and other gadgets. The next day is already planned with many appointments and assignments. It further makes one completely exhausted both physically and mentally. Soon, a feeling of guilt starts seeping in that they are not able to spend time with one another. The warm feelings and spark of love that they once had for each other begins to fade away leading to everyday quarrels and arguments.
The partners begin to lose respect and regard for each other. Those who are worst affected by this situation are the kids who get neglected. They get devoid of the love and care that they deserve. By witnessing the daily arguments of their parents, they feel traumatized.
A possible solution for this could be the formation of a social circle where in the elderly could be included and treated as a part of our family. If we can create this type of neighborhood or social circle, we will be able to attain many benefits and overcome various problems, like:
1) Senior citizens who are living alone will not feel lonely and left out. They will be able to participate in social activities.
2) The youngsters will be able to share their problems with their elders and seek emotional support and guidance.
3) Children will be under the care and supervision of elders like their grandparents.
4) By participating in social gatherings and celebrating festivals together, there will be more enjoyment and refreshment from the hectic schedules of daily life.
5) A sense of security can be established if the youngsters chose to take care of the elderly and the elderly take care of the children.