Correct but Don’t Criticise

As a parent, we always want our children to grow up with good values and become a responsible human being, but in our attempt, we tend to go overboard. We try to correct our children at every small instance and for every little mistake. At times, we start criticising our children without even thinking how it might affect them.
To correct them is not wrong but it should be done in a way that should not harm their self-esteem. We can always find out ways to correct their habits and behaviour but most importantly we need to correct our own ways of doing so.
Ten ways by which we can correct our children without criticising them are-
1. Choose your words-
Always be careful with the use of words. Be very thoughtful of what you speak. Try to speak to your child without blaming or criticising him. Instead of using harsh, critical words, try to use neutral words. For example, try saying, “the next time, do it this way.”
2. Say it one time, in one way-
Children get confused when we repeat what we said once in more than one way. Try to speak clearly and simply. Don’t repeat a thing again and again in different ways. The instruction should match the tone. Repetition will reduce its impact.
3. Code word-
We often tend to repeat what we once said many times. Children don’t like it. They start ignoring us when we repeat too much to correct them. Instead, we can try to use code words while reminding them of something. It will help as a reminder and the child will not feel bad also.
4. Give them some time-
It might happen that the child must be in the middle of following one instruction. Giving him another instruction before he has even finished the first one will give rise to irritation. Give him some time to finish the task in hand and then tell him another one.
5. One parent at a time-
Very often parents join hands while correcting the child at the same time. It makes the child feel insulted and defeated. Being lectured by both the parents at the same time will harm the self-esteem of the child. When one parent has chosen to correct the child over one thing, the other parent should not pick up the same issue for lecturing him.
6. Take turns-
For correcting the child, both the parents should not pick up the same issue. Instead, take turns. When one parent has already conveyed his or her message of correcting something, the other parent should not pick up the same issue. Parents should discuss among themselves and take turns while addressing issues with the child.
7. Create reminders-
If there is something the child has forgotten to do, don’t rush in to correct it immediately. Think of something that can help him in reminding the next time. For example, stick notes. Make small notes of chores and stick it at different places. The child will immediately notice and remember to do it the next time.
8. Choose your battles-
Sometimes, it is best to ignore small and petty things rather than making them turn into big battles every time. Remember, there might be big and real issues to deal with at some point or the other. So, sometime, it is better to stay quiet and wait for the right time to convey your feelings.
9. Appreciate the good things-
Always remember to acknowledge and appreciate the good things a child does. Even while correcting them, start by addressing something positive and good that they did. This way the child will not feel like a failure.
10. Give grace-
Remember, he is still a child. Keep in mind, that we are raising children. They still have a lot to learn and grow. They are learning the meaning of new words and the world around them.

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