Don’t Raise Your Children, Raise Yourself : Book Review

Don’t Raise Your Children, Raise Yourself : Book Review

Welcome to “Don’t Raise Your Children, Raise Yourself”, a non- fiction book on parenting. The book is a result of 5 years of research by Dr Swati Lodha in the field of parenting. I find the title of the book very intriguing. As parents, we keep saying that we are raising children. Contrary to that, the book says, Don’t Raise Your Children, Raise Yourself. To raise children, we must raise ourselves where we can understand them completely and discipline ourselves first before disciplining them.

The book contains very beautifully narrated dreams of the author. These dreams are based on episodes from Indian Mythology, Mahabharata along with Moon and its Nakshatras. The narrative of the dreams is descriptive and poetic in nature. The writer draws out insights on parenting from these dream sequences. Despite drawing out references from epics like Mahabharata, the author beautifully relates them to modern day parenting.

In her book, Dr Lodha, relates parenting with the phases and 27 Nakshatras of moon. Parenting has different phases like those of the moon. In one of the Dreams, she presents the relationship of Chandra and Rohini. While describing their relationship, she highlights how guidance and empathy are two important elements in parent child relationship.

The book presents different types of parents. Dr Lodha has categorised parents as Super Parents, Designer Parents, Bulletproof Parents, Yes Parents, Polarised Parents and Island Parents. Giving examples from her own experiences, she gives a wonderful explanation of each type of parents. While reading the book one can easily relate to them and reflect upon themselves.

After every Dream, there are certain exercises for the reader. These exercises help parents to analyse their own parenting style, thereby giving them a chance to improve it. These exercises are very well crafted and are based on our day to day experiences.

The writer maintains her tight grip in the style of writing throughout the book even while combining the different facets of Indian Mythology and Nakshatras of the moon via Dreams, parenting insights with the help of her own personal experiences and citing real life examples. With this beautiful blend of moon Nakshatras, mythology, parenting and exercises; the book can enrapture the readers till the end. Even after reading the book one feels like going through it once again, thinking and reflecting on what was read.

In present day scenario, where joint families are losing their place and nuclear families are gaining importance, parents usually feel a lack of guidance and support in their journey as parents. With the help of this book, they will surely benefit themselves. There is an answer for every ‘dilemma’ that parents face each day and in every stage of parenting. Just as children go through various stages of life similarly parents also go through various stages in their journey. This book helps us understand all these stages with a different perspective providing an answer to all our queries. Surely a worth read.

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