Stay at home mom vs. working mom: Neighbourhood speaks

Stay at home mom vs. working mom: Neighbourhood speaks

Being a woman is difficult. At every point in time, a woman has to take some really difficult decisions and make some really difficult choices. One of these major decisions is whether to continue one’s career or not after having kids. Sometimes the decision is entirely one’s own and sometimes it is circumstantial. Whatever it might be, but it’s really unfair to be judgemental and pass harsh comments without knowing about the real reason behind.
I was a working woman when my elder one was born and continued my work for a fairly long period. But after the birth of my second one, I gave up since it was difficult for me to create a fair balance. I don’t have any regrets now and neither I am going to dwell on it for past is past. What I am going to talk about is a really funny incident which happened to me recently.

I was visiting my mum this week and took my kids to a nearby park in the morning. While my kids were enjoying themselves on the swings, one of my mum’s old friends saw me and came to meet me. She greeted me smilingly and asked about my well being.
She continued and asked me, “So, what are you doing these days? Are you doing anything or simply sitting at home doing nothing? Why did you give up your profession despite being so qualified? You are wasting your education and all the money your parents spent on your education.” She then continued by saying, “you must learn from our mistakes. I was a teacher but left my job for my kids and now the same kids ask me that why you did not do anything. You know even your own kids consider you worthless if you are not working. It is extremely important for a woman to work for it develops the mind.”

She went on and on giving me this very valuable piece of advice while I kept questioning her remarks in my mind.
This is extremely a strange how people perceive a stay at home mother as. First of all, it is considered as a waste of education and qualification along with the ‘money’ that parents’ spend on educating their daughters. Does it really so? Does education ever gets wasted? That means we should not be educating our daughters because if they choose to stay at home after having kids, the ‘money’ and the ‘degrees’ will get wasted.
Secondly, a woman who is not ‘working’ as in the professional terms or has a job outside the house is doing ‘nothing’ and sitting idle all day long. Hmm!
Is that so? Then who is managing the house, taking care of kids, their health, education, co-curricular activities, so on and so forth?


Third, a job is necessary for the development of mind. Okay! I definitely never knew that!
Last but not the least, since the conversation was pretty long, “kids consider a stay at home mom as worthless or do not value her.” Again, a point of disagreement there. If a woman is educated and strong, nobody can dare to consider her worthless. For when she values herself strongly, people’s reaction doesn’t matter and she definitely knows how to handle her kids.
My point is that I have been a working mom as well as a stay at home. I do think that to take a decision in either way is tough. But in the end, she knows what will work best for her family and if she decides, either way, she must be respected and supported by it.

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0 thoughts on “Stay at home mom vs. working mom: Neighbourhood speaks

  1. Its so sad when women are the ones judging other women. We should be standing up for each other, not bringing each other down. Either decision is tough and each mom does the best she can for her family, based on her own unique circumstances that we have no knowledge of. So its really not anyone else’s place to judge.

  2. This debate would go on as long as the world keeps questioning whether the egg came first or the chic. A decision either way must be completely the woman’s. I don’t buy the point that kids start considering SAHM worthless. I never did so with my mom. And the kind of values we are imbibing in our kids, I don’t think they would ever think of their mom in such way.
    Great points mentioned! All the best ‘

  3. This is a never ending discussion and I have faced it myself at some point or the other. We, are not here to judge the decision and journey each one of us go through. Working or staying at home- can a be a choice or can be due to a situation.Respecting that will make things much easier for mothers! Great post,thanks

  4. Great post! I left the corporate world after my oldest was born – at 4 months old. I went back and forth as to whether or not people would see me as less than or inferior. However, years and years later – best decision I could have made!

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