Blogs, Children, parenting, Uncategorized

When those sparkling eyes turned myopic

This post was published on mycity4kids : https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/when-those-sparkling-eyes-turned-myopic

Yesterday , we went for our daughter’s vision test. It was her routine check up for eye sight. But she was scared. She was scared not of the Doctor or the procedures as this is her third year with her spectacles but of her number being decreased further. “Mom,  what if the number increases? Does it mean that my specs will be bigger or thicker? Will I look ugly will a big fat set of spectacles?” She said worriedly.
Two years back, when she was in class one, her teacher called me to meet her. She told me that my daughter hasn’t been paying attention in the class and wasn’t completing her work. I was worried. I asked my daughter at home why she was doing so. She told me that she wasn’t able to see the board clearly from her last seat. We thought of consulting a specialist and getting her eyes tested. She was having a poor vision due to myopia. I was stunned, thinking of my daughter having to wear glasses at such a young age. I love her sparkling brown eyes but the thought of seeing those eyes behind spectacles was like watching a caged bird.
What was her reaction? Well, initially she was excited as she thought her dad looked smart in his glasses. Happily she went to the optician and chose a pink frame for herself but when she wore them for the first time and learnt that she will have to wear them all the time then she got a reality check. She was soon in tears. “Mom, I don’t look like Barbie anymore. I don’t look beautiful. What would my friends say?”
Even I felt like crying. “Isn’t there anything that we can do to improve her vision.” I asked my husband. He started surfing the net and looking for something that we could do to improve her vision.
Then one day, he got a book titled, “How to Improve Your Child’s Vision Naturally” by Janet Goodrich. The book suggests emotional and psychological ways for healing myopia. There are various imaginative games and exercises to help your child recover their eyesight. Here are a few excerpts from the book that I would like to share: 

1. The importance of healthy diet:-
We all know that a good balanced diet is extremely important, it is equally important for the eyes as well. “Proteins, vitamins and minerals compose the structure of living eyeballs. If an essential nutrient is missing or toxic substances are entering the body, developing vision can be affected. The brain processing input from the eyes and other senses, needs proper nutrition and plenty of oxygen.”
2. The role of oxygen:-
A good supply of oxygen to all our body parts is very important. Just as breathing exercises do tremendous good to our body, likewise it is important for our eyes and brain too. For that Janet suggests deep breathing, loud sighing and noisy yawning. According to her, “Your eyes give themselves a bath by yawning. Vision brightens up as if you had washed the world as well as your eyes.”
3. The benefits of sunlight:-
The light and warmth of sunlight provides tremendous benefits for our body and our eyes. “Sunlight is a natural antibiotic; it destroys certain bacteria, fungi and viruses… The sun’s warmth relaxes tight eye muscles.” It does not mean that one has to stare at the shining sun for long but one can sit in a shady area , keep the eyes closed and imagine it as a sunflower and imagining that there is a magical feather at the end of your nose. Draw an imaginary circle around it and rotate your head gently.
4. The saccadic motion of the eyes:-
Due to long hours of watching TV or engaging with other screens, the rapid flickering movement of eyes called saccadic motion is replaced with a stare which causes imperfect vision. To retrieve the saccadic motion, there is an exercise suggested in the book called “The Magic Nose Pencil”. Imagine that there is a magic pencil at the end of your nose, draw everything with your magic nose pencil, moving your head slightly. It is, as the book says, “our most important tool for breaking the stare and establishing or reestablishing a good habit of saccadic motion.”
5. Ball games:-
Another way of providing the saccadic motion to the eyes is playing with balls. Playing various indoor or outdoor games with different balls of different sizes provides fast flickering movements to the eyes. The movement of the balls itself produces saccadic motion of the eyes.
I have been reading and trying various methods and techniques suggested in the book in order to improve the eyesight of my daughter. Though she still wears spectacles but as parents we can only try whatever we can do to help her taking care of her eyes. The good news that we got in her eye check up yesterday was that her eye sight has been stable for the past two years.
I would like to request my readers to share their views and suggestions for helping our children in taking care of their eyes and vision.

Blogs, parenting, Senior Citizens, Uncategorized, हिन्दी

मेरी नानी की कहानी, मेरी मां की जु़बानी

यह कहानी मेरी नहीं, मेरी मां की है। आज की

इस कहानी में जज़्बात भी उनके हैं, और अल्फाज़ भी उनके।

इसलिए इस कहानी में मैंने कोई बदलाव नहीं किए। उम्मीद करती हूँ, आपको पसंद आएगी :

मेरी शादी हुई तो मुझे मां बाप से बिछड़ने का बहुत दुख था पर सुकून था कि मैं उसी शहर में हूँ तो आती जाती रहूंगी। मेरे पिताजी की सेहत ठीक नहीं रहती थी। हालांकि वो नौकरी भी करते थे। अच्छी पोस्ट पर भी थे, मेरी शादी के बाद मुझसे मिलने भी आते थे, मेरा कोई काम होता तो अवश्य करते।

कभी कभी जब मैं अकेले होती तो यह सोच कर घबरा जाती थी कि मेरे पिताजी की तबियत ठीक नहीं रहती। उनके बहुत करीब थी। उनकी याद आखोँ में आँसु ले आती। कुछ साल बाद, उनकी

तबियत और बिगड़ने लगी। अब मैं बैठे बैठे डर जाती कि अगर मेरे पिताजी को कुछ हो गया तो? मुझे लगता था कि मेरी दुनिया वहीं रुक जाएगी। और फिर दिन ….वही हुआ…

मेरे पिताजी दफ्तर गए और वहां उनकी तबीयत खराब हुई। उन्हें जल्द अस्पताल ले जाना पड़ा। शाम को अस्पताल से खबर मिली कि पिताजी मां को याद कर रहे हैं। मां उनसे मिलने अस्पताल गई। जब घर लौटी तो बोली, “मैं खाली हाथ आ गई”। मुझे समझ नहीं आया। तब पता चला कि मां को देखते ही पिताजी ने आखिरी सांस ली और चल बसे।

अब तक तो कुछ समझ नहीं आया। ऐसा झटका लगा कि बुद्धि ने काम करना बन्द कर दिया, किन्तु पिताजी की तेरहवीं पर जब मैंने मां को सीड़ियों से उतरते देखा तो एक मिनट के लिए सांस ही रुक गई। मैंने अपनी मां को सफेद साड़ी में बिल्कुल सादे और शांत रूप में देखा। मुझे जीवन का सबसे बड़ा झटका लगा जब मैने अपनी मां को इस रुप मे देखा। तब असली एहसास हुआ कि पिताजी नहीं रहे। मैं रो रो कर बेहाल थी। बस चिल्लाई जा रही थी, “यह ठीक नहीं हुआ, यह ठीक नहीं हुआ”

उस वक्त मां ने ही मुझे सम्भाला, बोली “यही जीवन की सच्चाई है इसे जितनी जल्दी समझ लेंगे उतना ही हम लोगों के लिए अच्छा है”।

मैं अपनी मां का वो शांत रुप देख कर बिल्कुल स्तब्ध थी किन्तु मुझे शक्ति भी मिली। जीवन की सबसे कड़वी सच्चाई का मां ने इतने सहज रुप से स्वीकार किया। मुझे अपनी मां पर गर्व भी हो रहा था। मेरी मां स्कूल में अध्यापिका थी और हम पांच बहने। पिताजी की मृत्यु के समय दो की शादी हुई थी और बाकियो की होनी थी। एक छोटी बहन तो बहुत ही छोटी थी। शायद उनको देखकर मां ने संयम रखा होगा। मां ने हिम्मत के साथ मेरी दोनों छोटी बहनों को पढा लिखा कर उनका ब्याह किया। मुझे आज भी याद है, सबसे छोटी बहन के ब्याह के बाद मेरी मां पहली बार रोई थी कि सब मुझे छोड़ कर चले गए। उनका मतलब पिताजी से था। तब मुझे लगा कि मां ने कितने सालों तक वह दर्द अपने अन्दर छुपा कर रखा था ताकि उसकी बेटियाँ कमजो़र ना बनें।

आज भी मां की वो सीख याद है, “जीवन की कड़वी सच्चाईयों का सामना हिम्मत से करना चाहिए। जि़दगी तो चलती ही रहेगी। हिम्मत रखेंगे तो बड़ी से बड़ी जि़म्मेदारी भी निभा पाएंगे”। मुझे एक बात का एहसास भी हुआ कि मंजिल पर पहुंच कर ही थकान का एहसास होता है, और कहीं ना कहीं यह खुशी भी होती है कि हमने अपनी जि़म्मेदारियां अच्छे से निभाई।

यही है मां की सीख- तकलीफ मे घबराना नहीं चाहिए, हिम्मत से काम लेना चाहिए। सब समस्याएं समय के साथ हल हो जाती हैं।  

 

This post was published on mycity4kids : https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/meri-nani-ki-kahani-meri-ma-n-ki-jubani

Blogs, Children, parenting, Uncategorized

Kids These Days Are Not Safe Anywhere, Here Is What You Can Do

 

It really makes me worried as a mother of two to read about the various incidents happening around with children. Earlier, we were allowed to play outside in the streets or in the parks all alone or with friends till very late in the evening. But now, we are too scared to let our children go alone anywhere. It’s sad and terrifying that incidents of rape with small kids are happening in school. Even schools are not a safe place for children these days.

Two years back, when we were on a house hunt, our most important criteria was to have our house which should be nearer to the school of our kids. When we shifted in the new locality, we had a sigh of relief that at last our kids’ school was at a walking distance from our house. I could manage to pick and drop my kids to their school by myself. Though, it is not easy these days to have a house which can be nearer to school, but if we can have then it is really a blessing. Sadly, even then we cannot ensure the safety of our kids fully with sad incidents happening in the school itself.

Here are a few tips to ensure the safety of our kids:

  1. Be open and frank with the child.

We should remain open and frank with our children. Children should feel free to come and tell us about anything without any kind of fear. They should feel free to come to us and tell us about anything and everything that they like. We should have an unbiased and encouraging atmosphere at home where kids find themselves comfortable to express themselves.

2. Educating a child about their own safety.

We must educate our children to be very careful and cautious. We must tell them that they should not talk to any strangers or get lured away by anyone. They should try to be with their friends and not wander away on their own. They should inform the teacher if they come across somebody they feel scared of.

3.The good touch and the bad touch

A very important thing for a child is to understand the difference between the good and the bad touch. They should learn about their private parts and should not expose them to anyone. If someone tries to approach them in indecent way, they should immediately inform their parents.

4. Having daily conversations

One more important thing is to have daily conversations with kids. Spend time with your kids as soon as they come from their school and let them tell you about their day at school. Listen to them patiently even if they talk about very little and unimportant things. It helps in building trust and the child feels important in front of you. That half an hour or one hour after school is very important for daily conversations as they are too excited to tell you about everything that happened in school.

5. Never leave your child unguarded or unattended

This is extremely important. These days, we cannot trust anyone. Kids are not safe at any place. Try to be with the kids as much as you can both physically and mentally. Leaving the child unattended or unguarded even for a minute is not good.

6. Observe the child

Children have terrible mood swings. But even then we should not dismiss any little change in their behaviour or let it go unnoticed. We must keep asking and enquiring the child about what bothers them or makes them uncomfortable.

We must also teach our kids to raise an alarm and not suppress themselves due to any kind of fear.

It is not possible to be with the kids all the times but it is possible to be there for them always. Our kids are the centre of our universe, we must do our best to ensure their safety and security in the best possible means.

This blog was published on mycity4kids: https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/kids-these-days-are-not-safe-anywhere-here-is-what-you-can-do

Cove Image: redriverunited.org

Blogs, Children, parenting, Toddler, Uncategorized

Raise Independent Kids with These 5 Simple Tips

Our children are handed to us as tiny little cute bundles looking so innocent and delicate. We love to do everything for them and become so busy with them that we just don’t know when the time flies by and our kids start growing up. Our love of doing everything for them becomes a habit both for us and for our kids.

When the kids grow up, they often refuse to do the things on their own which they are capable of doing. It is important to raise them in a way where they become self-sufficient and self-reliant. It is important for us to understand that one day, our little nestlings will be leaving our nest to fly in the sky.

It requires a lot of patience, love and understanding to raise independent kids. They will throw tantrums, there will be power struggles, a lot of mess but in the end it’s all worth it.

So, how can we do it?

Here are five simple steps to make them independent:

1.    Let them fail and learn

Let the children try to do their things on their own. They will stumble, they will fall. They might do it all wrong but it’s okay. We, mothers, often jump up when our kids are making a mistake while doing something on their own. It’s okay. Let them. Hold yourself back. For example, while getting water for themselves, they might spill it. The spilled water can be mopped but once you stop them, chances are they will never try it again.

2.    Don’t let them get disheartened

Even if they are unable to do something on their own, it’s okay. Appreciate their efforts and encourage them to do it again. Don’t point out that they could not do it instead highlight the fact that they tried.

3.    Help them when they face a problem

When they get stuck in the middle of the task they were doing, help them. Once, twice may be many times. But limit yourself till the point where they are facing problem. Once their problem is resolved, let them do it themselves.

4.    Make things simplified

If we want our kids to learn to be independent, we have to create an atmosphere where they can do things on their own. For example, if we want them to dress up on their own, then we must keep their cupboards organised in a way which they can operate easily. The clothes should be within their reach and kept systematically for the little hands to pick.

5.    Role modelling

Children learn by imitating and watching. Try to role model every activity for them in order to enable them to learn. For example, while brushing their teeth allow them to watch you and brush their teeth while standing next to you. They will learn by watching you do it.

Hope these tips work for you. Do write to me how you are teaching your kids to become independent. I would love to hear your stories.

This post was published on mycity4kids : https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/raise-independent-kids-with-these-5-simple-tips

cover image: 4Nannies

 

 

 

 

 

Blogs, Children, Life style, parenting, Uncategorized

Celebrating Sisterhood on Raksha Bandhan

Raksha Bandhan is a festival which celebrates the bond of love between brothers and sisters. It is very special for those who have a brother or a sister. Earlier, even if somebody did not have a sister or a brother, there were cousins with whom this festival could be celebrated. A family gathering with uncles, aunts and cousins made this festival very special. With the family system getting smaller these days and people moving out of cities and going abroad, children do not get to see their cousins very often.I am blessed with an elder sister but don’t have a brother. During my childhood, we used to have a big family gathering with all my uncles, aunts and cousins on the day of Raksha Bandhan. My aunts would tie Rakhi to my dad and uncles and we would tie Rakhi to our cousins. Gradually, this ritual started decreasing with everybody getting busier in their own lives.

rakhi pis

Raksha Bandhan came, the markets were flooded with beautiful rakhis, my friends used to be excited for celebrating this occasion with their brothers and discuss what gifts they would be asking from their brothers. I felt sad for not having a brother to tie Rakhi on the occasion of Raksha Bandhan. My parents then asked me why do I need a brother when I had the most caring sister.

“I want a brother to tie Rakhi. I cannot celebrate Rakhi with a sister. All my friends have brothers and our cousins would be celebrating it in their house. I don’t have a brother to celebrate Raksha Bandhan,” was my reply.

My mother then made us celebrate Raksha Bandhan by tying Rakhi to our father. She said that fathers are like brothers too, for they care and protect us just like a brother. Our fathers love us the most and are there for us always.

This year, when I recalled that incident, I thought that my daughters too should not miss celebrating this beautiful festival just because they do not have a brother.

Raksha Bandhan celebrates the bond of love between siblings. Sisters share this great bond of love too. Sisters make the best of friends and always remain close to each other. The way a brother promises to protect his sister, a father protects his daughters too. So, why should this festival be limited to just brothers and sisters?

On the day of Raksha Bandhan, I decorated the thali with sweets, tilak, diya and rakhis. My daughters first tied Rakhi to their dad who loves them the most and protects them from any possible danger.

rakhi-thali-decoration

Then, they tied Rakhi to each other to celebrate the love that they have for each other. They promised to each other that they will stand with each other through thick and thin and will always be there for each other. They gave each other a hug and celebrated their sister love.

Raksha Bandhan is a festival of love and relationships. It is a great way of teaching our kids the value and meaning of family, love and relationships. Let us not just limit it to a brother sister relationship but take it as an opportunity to spread love and strengthen our bonds, be it only sisters or be it only brothers. In this way we celebrated Rakhi in our house. I would love to hear from you how you celebrated it.

This blog is a link up with Amrita and Deepa for #Mondaymommymoments.