Blogs, Life style, Stories, Uncategorized, Write Tribe Festival 2018, Writer's Challenge

The Unmarried Father

“Sunny, think again. You have your whole life ahead. How will you take care of her? It is not that easy.”
“No, ma. I have made up my mind. I can’t leave her. I will manage on my own.”
“Sunny, you are not even married. You have no experience of bringing up a baby. You don’t even know who her parents are? Give it to some orphanage. They will take good care of her. What about Riya? Do you think her parents will let her marry you if you keep this baby with you?”
“Mom, whatever be the consequence, I will not leave her.”
Sunny had found a newborn baby girl in a garbage on a footpath while going to his office. The little baby was wrapped in a torn cloth and had ants sticking on her. She would have died had he not picked her up and brought her home.
We often talk about motherhood but isn’t fatherhood an equally strong bond?

This post is a part of Write Tribe Festival of June 2018.

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Blogs, Children, parenting, Uncategorized

Kids These Days Are Not Safe Anywhere, Here Is What You Can Do

 

It really makes me worried as a mother of two to read about the various incidents happening around with children. Earlier, we were allowed to play outside in the streets or in the parks all alone or with friends till very late in the evening. But now, we are too scared to let our children go alone anywhere. It’s sad and terrifying that incidents of rape with small kids are happening in school. Even schools are not a safe place for children these days.

Two years back, when we were on a house hunt, our most important criteria was to have our house which should be nearer to the school of our kids. When we shifted in the new locality, we had a sigh of relief that at last our kids’ school was at a walking distance from our house. I could manage to pick and drop my kids to their school by myself. Though, it is not easy these days to have a house which can be nearer to school, but if we can have then it is really a blessing. Sadly, even then we cannot ensure the safety of our kids fully with sad incidents happening in the school itself.

Here are a few tips to ensure the safety of our kids:

  1. Be open and frank with the child.

We should remain open and frank with our children. Children should feel free to come and tell us about anything without any kind of fear. They should feel free to come to us and tell us about anything and everything that they like. We should have an unbiased and encouraging atmosphere at home where kids find themselves comfortable to express themselves.

2. Educating a child about their own safety.

We must educate our children to be very careful and cautious. We must tell them that they should not talk to any strangers or get lured away by anyone. They should try to be with their friends and not wander away on their own. They should inform the teacher if they come across somebody they feel scared of.

3.The good touch and the bad touch

A very important thing for a child is to understand the difference between the good and the bad touch. They should learn about their private parts and should not expose them to anyone. If someone tries to approach them in indecent way, they should immediately inform their parents.

4. Having daily conversations

One more important thing is to have daily conversations with kids. Spend time with your kids as soon as they come from their school and let them tell you about their day at school. Listen to them patiently even if they talk about very little and unimportant things. It helps in building trust and the child feels important in front of you. That half an hour or one hour after school is very important for daily conversations as they are too excited to tell you about everything that happened in school.

5. Never leave your child unguarded or unattended

This is extremely important. These days, we cannot trust anyone. Kids are not safe at any place. Try to be with the kids as much as you can both physically and mentally. Leaving the child unattended or unguarded even for a minute is not good.

6. Observe the child

Children have terrible mood swings. But even then we should not dismiss any little change in their behaviour or let it go unnoticed. We must keep asking and enquiring the child about what bothers them or makes them uncomfortable.

We must also teach our kids to raise an alarm and not suppress themselves due to any kind of fear.

It is not possible to be with the kids all the times but it is possible to be there for them always. Our kids are the centre of our universe, we must do our best to ensure their safety and security in the best possible means.

This blog was published on mycity4kids: https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/kids-these-days-are-not-safe-anywhere-here-is-what-you-can-do

Cove Image: redriverunited.org

Blogs, Children, Life style, parenting, Uncategorized

Five Reasons to Put Those Phones Away When with Your Child

 

Let’s admit, we are all caught up in the world of technology. We live, eat, breathe and think with our smartphones literally. These smartphones have created a bubble around us. We are caught up in those bubbles so badly, that we have been completely absorbed in them. It’s not just the children who are addicted to screens. Parents are more often spending all their precious time swiping the screens of their smartphones. To ‘connect’ more with our friends staying far of, we have disconnected with our family members staying ‘with us’.

These days, parents are so soaked up in the digital world, that they are often not present even when they are with their children. Children who always crave for the attention and affection of their parents often feel neglected when they see their parents using smartphones. Parents who are talking on the phone while they are with their children are not actually present with them. Parents who are talking on the phone while having dinner or while the child is playing next to them are not there with the children.

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Here are five reasons why we should put those smart phones away and break the bubble of technology:

  1. Children need our attention to build their self- esteem. Paying attention to their smallest efforts means they will push themselves to the next level.
  2. Our positive attention helps them become emotionally stronger. When we put our phones down to talk to them about what they are doing, they feel more secure and confident.
  3. Our eye contact, little gestures, expression and verbal conversation helps a lot in the development of little children. Children learn more from their conversation with their parents. They feel more secure with the warmth and care of their parents rather than watching videos on the screens.
  4. Language development increases with one to one conversation. Our conversation with our kids stimulates their curiosity and increases their brain power. They learn new words and build their vocabulary when they converse with their parents.
  5. Our priority is our children and not our smartphones. Today, if we do not listen to our children, tomorrow they will not be with us when we would like to hear from them. Relationships build over a period. Our relationship with our kids will build only when we are present with them and paying attention to them physically and mentally.

So, for the sake of our children and their bright future, let’s break the bubble of technology and put those gadgets away.

 

 

 

 

Blogs, Life style, parenting, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Mother India and Dangal: Role Models For Every Parent

We all have seen the Indian classic movie, Mother India. Radha, the female protagonist goes through many hardships to bring her two sons on her own. But later, when her son, Birju, tries to kidnap Sukhilal’s daughter on the day of her wedding, Radha herself shoots him. A mother who sacrifices so much for her sons was the first one to punish him, when he disrespects a girl. Motherhood did not come in the way of justice. Loving her child is one thing but justice is another thing. We get blinded by our love for our kids and overlook their mistakes and ill treatment towards others.  

In our Indian society, son’s are often treated as Gods. They are forgiven for every small or bigger mistakes that they do. We have often read how teenagers involved in hit and run cases are left without any punishment as their parents go to any extent to save them. They get blinded in their love for their children and forget justice.

Boys and young men who mistreats their female counterparts are very often justified by saying, “ ladke to masti karte hi hain , ladkiyon ko sambhal kar rehna chahiye.”( boys like to have fun, girls should be careful). This attitude encourages the boys to go to any extent and do whatever they feel like with girls. When they see their parents supporting them and coming out to save them from legal punishments, they become bold to commit bigger crimes.

If the mothers of boys punish them for their ill treatments towards girls, they will learn not to go further next time. If mothers become as strong as Radha,in Mother India, no boy will dare to trouble any girl. The recent Bengaluru incident shows that men are becoming fearless, they know that nothing will be done to them even if they take the liberty to do anything with women anywhere.


This fearless attitude and excessive freedom comes from their homes where they are treated as superior and let go for any of their mistakes. This incident is big slap on our society. How we are bringing up our boys? What are we teaching them? How can they dare to go to such an extent? They are not afraid of their parents. They are not afraid of police. They do not have any values.

On the other hand, the movie Dangal, shows a father who goes against the society to make his girls wrestlers. He is extremely strict with his girls and despite their resentment , he makes them strong and at par with the boys. He strongly believes that girls are no less than the boys. Every father must make his girl strong and bold enough to face the challenges of life. Girls are often taught to be submissive and are made to believe that they are not as strong as boys. This makes them helpless in situations like Bengaluru New Year incident.

I appreciate Mr Akshay Kumar when he says that girls do not need to think of themselves as weak. With a few martial arts techniques they can easily defend themselves and teach the boys a lesson who come to touch them without their consent. He is extremely right to say that once our girls decide to fight back, no boy will ever dare to even look at them.

If fathers become like Mahavir Phogat and Akshay Kumar and make their girls strong enough to defend themselves, no boy will be able to even think of coming near them.


The two protagonists, Radha and Mahavir Phogat, set a very good example for all the parents in a way that in the present scenario where we see boys disrespecting girls and especially the Bengaluru New Year incident , it is very important to punish our boys severely when they do something wrong and make our girls so strong that they can easily defend themselves and beat the molesters easily .