This post was first published on mycity4kids : https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/parent-teacher-relationship-don-t-criticise-lets-coordinate
The Conversation that rules:
Every day, when I go to pick up my daughter from the bus stop, a general discussion starts among the mothers. It generally revolves around their ward’s school performance and most importantly their teachers. Often the mothers accuse the teachers for their children’s unsatisfactory academic performance.
A common conversation is heard:
Mother 1: “How’s the new class teacher of your child? My daughter’s teacher is very strict. Yesterday, she scolded her for no reason.”
Mother 2: “Even my child’s teacher is not good. She doesn't acknowledge his good work. He has improved his handwriting so much but the teacher doesn't even appreciate her efforts. At least, one star or smiley can be given to boost the confidence.”
Mother 3: “Teachers these days are least bothered. They don't even teach well. I have hired a tutor for my son.”
The Constant Judgement:
Just then the bus arrives, mothers immediately ask their children,
“What happened in school today? What did Ma’am say? Did she scold you even today?” Based on the child’s remarks, they form a judgement about the teachers. If the child says, “Ma’am appreciated me in front of the whole class”, the teacher is termed as “good”. Sometimes children accuse teachers for being unfair and biased. “My teacher always appreciates Jasmine, she never gives me stars.” Parents immediately label the teacher as “ineffective” or “partial”. This way we constantly judge the teachers.
Similarly, the teachers also judge the parents based on the child’s uniform, behavior, homework, projects, handwriting, etc. If the child’s handwriting is good, notebooks are neat and clean, the teacher thinks that the parents are involved in the child’s education. The parents are “good”, if the child’s homework is “good”.
The Blame Game:
If there is some problem with the child, the teacher often blames the parents as being irresponsible and negligent. They would immediately call the parents to rectify it. The parents also accuse the teacher as being inefficient if their child’s results are unsatisfactory. They blame the teachers for their child’s poor grades and bad behavior. They want the teacher to be changed. This kind of mistrust and lack of respect for each other adversely affects the child.
At home front also, a similar scenario exists. Whenever the child gets poor grades or misbehaves, parents blame each other and holds the other responsible for it.
Whenever the parents and the teacher blame each other for the child’s misconduct, the one who suffers the most is the child. The child begins to disrespect and disobey the teachers and the parents.
Forming a Team:
Parents and teachers share the same goal i.e. the overall development of the child. When they share the same goal, they should form a team and work together to achieve it. Instead of judging and blaming each other, they should trust and respect each other. This way the child will also learn to respect and obey them. The child will also learn to trust them and stop complaining about them.
Communication and Coordination:
Teachers and parents must have a positive and regular communication. In this way, they can establish a healthy relationship and diminish blaming. Teachers can communicate with the parents about the strengths and weaknesses of the child. Similarly, the parents can also communicate with the teachers about the problems which might be affecting the child’s performance and behavior in school. Similarly, the parents should trust and help each other in the upbringing of the child at home. In this way, they can have a coordination which can do wonders for the betterment of the child.
Would you like to read more about teachers? Read this wonderful blog by Charu Sareen Gujjal here.