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वर वधु की तलाश – विज्ञापनों के साथ बदलता समाज(एक हास्य लेख)

पहले ज़माने मे जब भी किसी मां बाप को अपनी लड़की के लिए वर की तलाश होती थी तो वे रिश्तेदारों को बोलते थे या अखबार में मैट्रीमोनीयल पर विज्ञापन देते थे। हर सप्ताह अखबार के मैट्रीमोनीयल कालम मे खोज कर चार पाँच विज्ञापनों पर गोला लगाते थे और फिर उनके बारे मे जाँच पड़ताल करते थे।

तब वर के लिए नियम बहुत कम होते थे। 23 साल की कन्या के लिए वर ढूंढना हो तो 27-28 साल , सम्भ्रांत परिवार का डाक्टर या इंजीनियर ।

एक कालम होता था मांगलिक या नान मांगलिक जन्म कुंडली के अनुसार। पंजाबी के लिए पंजाबी, अग्रवाल के लिए अग्रवाल। धीरे धीरे समय बदलता गया और वर के लिए योग्यताओं मे एक और नियम जुड़ गया – caste no bar यानि कि इंटर कास्ट विवाह। और इस तरह इंटर कास्ट विवाह को समाज द्वारा मान्यता मिली। 

कई विज्ञापनों मे tee-totaller की योग्यता भी मांगी गई। अजी Tee-totaller लड़के क्या, आजकल तो tee-totaller लड़कियां भी नहीं मिलती। 

समय बदला और समाज ने थोड़ी और उन्नति की। पहले लव मैरिज को उचित नहीं समझते थे यह सोच कर कि लोग क्या कहेंगे किन्तु अब माता पिता के लिए आसान हो गया। लड़की को उच्च शिक्षा दी , अच्छे पद पर नौकरी के काबिल बनाया और निश्चिंत हो गए कि अब लड़की अपने लिए पसंद का वर ढूंढ ही लेगी। 

पर यह क्या , एक और नई समस्या आने लगी कि जी लड़की की आय लड़के से ज़्यादा नहीं होनी चाहिए नहीं तो स्वाभिमान की लड़ाई शुरू हो जाएगी। लो कर लो बात अब वर वधु के बीच आई लड़की की आय व स्वाभिमान की दीवार। 


कई बार पढाई के दौरान आपसी मित्रता विवाह के बंधन तक पहुंच गई। लड़की के ब्याह की चिंता जो उसके पैदा होने पर ही सताने लगती थी, “पराया धन” समझ कर , वह चिन्ता अब समाप्त हुई। 

इस तरह कुछ चिन्ताओ से मुक्ति मिली- 

दहेज की चिन्ता नहीं , 

वर या वधु ढूंढने की चिन्ता नहीं,

लड़की को ससुराल मे आने वाली समस्या की भी चिन्ता नहीं।

समाज कितना बदल गया है। अब लड़की या लड़के के लिए जीवन साथी ढूंढना हुआ और आसान। जो पहले अखबारों तक या marriage bureau तक व मन्दिरों के पंडितों तक सीमित था अब वो social media पर छा गया।

पहले के इश्तहार आज भी याद आते हैं- 

“वर ही वर – संपर्क करें शर्मा जी से”

“रिश्ते ही रिश्ते – 28 रैगड़ पुरा” 

और अब देखिए – 

कृपया log in करें – ‘www….com’ पर।

चलिए अब कम से कम ‘रिश्ते’ ढूंढने के लिए कहीं जाने या किसी से मिलने की ज़रूरत नहीं।

मुझे याद है कुछ साल पहले पड़ोसिन ने अपनी लड़की के लिए तलाक शुदा वर ढूंढा तो सबने उसे फटकार लगाई कि तुम्हें अपनी बेटी के लिए और कोई वर नहीं मिला जो एक तलाक शुदा से अपनी बेटी की शादी करना चाहते हो? मगर आज की मैट्रीमोनियल विज्ञापन तो देखिए – 

Caste no bar

Age no bar
Marital status no bar

Kids no bar !!!

भई वाह! अब तो सबके सब ‘bar’ ही हटा दिए। मेरी सहेली ने आकर बताया कि उसकी मित्र का पति उससे दो साल छोटा है तो सब आपस मे फुसफुसाने लगे , “देखो, क्या ज़माना आ गया है। हमारे ज़माने मे तो वर की उम्र वधु से कम से कम दस साल ज्यादा होती थी वहीं अब वधू की उम्र वर से ज्यादा होने लगी। सही कहा – “age no bar” ।

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अजी ज़माना तो आपके भले के लिए ही बदला है। न दहेज की चिन्ता, न रिश्तेदारों का डर । लड़की हुई तो उसके ब्याह की भी चिन्ता नहीं, लड़की शादी करे या न करें यह भी चिन्ता नहीं, अगर ज़रूरी है तो उसकी शिक्षा , उसका स्वावलंबी होना, उसका आत्मविश्वास, शादी किसी से हो या न हो कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता।

हाँ बस अब एक ही प्रश्नचिन्ह रह गया है। पुरुष दो बच्चों के बाद भी विधुर  हो तो चाहता है कि उसे लड़की मिले जिसके बच्चे नहीं हो और वह उसके बच्चों को अपने बच्चों की तरह पाले परन्तु स्त्री के साथ ऐसा नहीं है। 

किन्तु यह अभी दूर की सोच है। फिर सोचती हूँ कि बाकी सब bar की तरह शायद यह bar भी जल्दी हट जाए और कहा जाए ‘शादी बार बार’। 

Posted in Blogs, Children, Life style, parenting, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Understanding Cyber Safety and Protecting Our Kids from Online Dangers

We live in a world where we are surrounded by technology. Internet has become an essential part of our lives. With an easy access to internet, we can enter a whole new world of knowledge, resources and social media. This is the digital world where we can enter with a simple swipe of screen. This lucrative and highly useful digital world is never free from its potential threats and dangers. The most vulnerable victims of this digital world are our kids.

Our innocent kids get easily lured by the videos, images and animations shown to them over the mobiles. They get easily attracted and addicted to the online content being shown to them. Therefore, it becomes highly important to protect them from the various cyber dangers and ensure their online safety.

What is cyber safety and why is it so important?

From the very beginning we become extremely careful with kids. We try to protect them in our best possible way from any danger. We even teach our kids about keeping themselves safe in and out of the house. Just like our world, the digital world is also full of threats, predators, thieves and other bad elements. People try to hack our accounts, steal our identities, and sneak into our private lives and of course, the exposure to inappropriate content.

Children learn to swipe the screens of the mobiles even before they learn to speak clearly. They recognise the icons and know how to play the content of their choice. That is where the problem starts. We think and ensure ourselves that our child is merely watching his favourite cartoon and leave our phones in their custody. But the child might accidentally misprint something or click on the content which he or she must not be exposed to.

Recently, we came to know about the infamous ‘Blue Whale Challenge’ and how teenagers have started committing suicide because of that. That is just one example of how dangerous the digital world can be and how vulnerable our kids are.

kids-on-computers

What are the various Cyber Dangers?

There can be various kinds of cyber dangers. To name a few:

1.  Exposure to inappropriate or adult content

2.  Cyber bullying or cyber harassment from others online

3.  Eye strain or wrist strain

4.  Internet addiction

5.  Bad websites like chat room, computer games which might have adult content and other social networking sites.

 

Five Golden Rules for entering the digital world

Just like we teach our kids certain rules for their safety. There are certain rules which we need to teach our kids for ensuring cyber safety.

1)  Don’t give out personal information like address or phone number.

2)  Don’t send our pictures of yourself to anyone especially indecent pictures.

3) Don’t open emails or attachments from persons you don’t know.

4)  If there is anything that you see or read online, worries you, tell someone about it.

5)  Never arrange to meet someone in person whom you have met online.

 

Ten tips to ensure online safety of our kids

1. Use an internet security suite on all the computers you own.

2. Keep your home network secured with a good password and security settings.

3. Learn to avoid clicking links, ads and emails from people you don’t know.

4. Use a good password which is unique and complex on all your devices and accounts. It should have a good combination of alphabets, numbers and special characters.

5. Talk to your kids about avoiding cybercrime and tell them to be cautious.

6. Advise your kids never to share passwords, not even with close friends.

7. Teach your children to log out of computers after finishing their work.

8. Use the security and privacy settings on all your social networks and all accounts to limit who can access your posts.

9. Learn about parental control settings for all your devices.

10. Talk to your kids regularly about how to use technology.

With these measures in mind, try to keep your kids safe online. Be alert and be cautious before handing out any gadgets to your kids because you never know who might try to harm them and where.

I am writing this post for #MMM #MondayMommyMoments. This post is in link up with Deepa Gandhi and Dr Amrita Basu

Healthwealthbridge

Posted in Blogs, Life style, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

The Glitz and Glam of Navratris in Delhi

 

Navratras are just around the corner and Delhi is all geared up to celebrate this much awaited festival with great grandeur and style. Delhi is at its shimmery best to fight the battle of good over evil and celebrate the nine avatars of Goddess Durga.

Navratras begin with “Kalasha sthapana”. It means installing a pot with holy water. The pot containing holy water is considered as the symbol of Goddess Durga. It is placed in the puja room and worshipped for nine days. On this day, barley seeds are sown as “khetri”. By the end of the navratras, these seeds grow into 3-5 inches long shoots. These are taken out and distributed as a form of blessing.

khetri

(Pic Courtesy: google plus)

A very important aspect of Navratri celebrations is the fasting. Many people observe fast for the whole navratris but there are many who cannot fast for so many days. They observe fast as a couple. On the last day of the navratras, any two members of the house observe fast for one day.

Kirtans are organised on a daily basis in temples on a large scale. Ladies form groups or kirtan mandalis and perform kirtan and puja in their houses.

The evenings witness Ramleela. Sharad Navratras are synonymous with Ramleela which is organised at a very large scale in various parts of Delhi. Ramleela, is the theatrical performance of the story of Ramayana. The city’s highlights at this time are the Ramleela performance and the Diwali Melas organised at various parts of Delhi.

Alongwith, the Diwali melas and Ramleela which have always been very popular, another major event which has started gaining popularity is the Dandiya Nights.

fashion-dandiya-night5

(Pic courtesy: India TV)

The love for shimmer, music and dance has led to Dandiya nights getting popular in Delhi. The nine days of Navratris give Delhiites a reason to deck up in their most shimmering outfits and hit the dance floors with dandiyas in their hands.

The last day of the navratri is celebrated as “Kanjak” or “kanya pujan”. Kanjak is celebrated in temples as well as in houses. Young girls are invited in the houses, their feet are washed. A holy thread called “mouli” is tied on their wrists. Tilak is applied on their forehead. They are given puri halwa as a form of blessing.

Navratras are considered as highly auspicious days. It is believed that if you have to start anything new, may be a new business venture or buy a new vehicle, property or jewellery, then navratras are the best days to start. Navratras also mark the beginning of the wedding season in Delhi. All the wedding functions start with “Mata ki Chowki”, which is conducted during the navratras.

The markets are flooded with red chunaris, food items which are eaten during the navratris, things related to navaratri puja. Another thing, which is very famous is the “navratri special thalis” served in restaurants. The “navratri thalis” have become so famous that even those who are not fasting during these days opt for them during the Navratras.

Delhi looks at its best and sets the mood for the festive season beginning with navratras. All the new ventures which were put on hold and were waiting for the auspicious days, the weddings, functions, not to forget the shopping spree will all begin during the navratras. Delhi is going to be fully decked up and Delhiites will be seen glittering and sparkling.

diwali-main1

(Pic Courtesy: Indian Express)

 

Posted in हिन्दी, Blogs, Life style, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

सास बहु कैसे बने सहेली, रिश्तों की सबसे बड़ी पहेली

सभी रिश्तों में सबसे उलझा एवं मुश्किल रिश्ता होता है सास बहु का। दो औरतें जब बहनें हों, मित्र हों, पार्क में रोज़ मिलती हों; एक प्यारा सा रिश्ता अकसर बनाने में सफल हो जाती हैं। पर न जाने क्यूँ जब वे सास बहु बनती हैं तो चाहते हुए भी वैसा रिश्ता नहीं बना पाती।

आज कल सास बहु का रिश्ता काफी बदल रहा है किन्तु अभी भी कहीं बहु के मन में और कहीं सास के मन में एक उम्मीद बनी रहती है कि काश हमारी बहु बेटी की तरह होती। कहते हैं कि ताली दोनों हाथों से बजती है, यह सच है। जब तक दोनों अपना हाथ आगे नहीं बढाएंगी तब तक ताली नहीं बजेगी और दोनों सहेली नहीं बन पाएगी।

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इसके कुछ कारण जो मैं समझती हूं वो है –

1. इसका पहला कारण है कि दोनों एक दूसरे को समझ नहीं पाती। मां अपने बच्चे को शुरु से ही देखती आ रही है इसलिए वह उसकी अच्छाई व बुराई सब समझ पाती है। सास बहु का रिश्ता एक दम नया होता है, इसलिये समय तो देना चाहिए।

2. दो घरों की विविधता इस रिश्ते में कठिनाई का कारण बनती हैं, चाहे वह समान धर्म के लोग हों या अलग धर्म के। पौधे का हवा पानी बदलता है तो वो मुरझा जाता है। एक नव विवाहिता भी उसी पौधे के समान होती है।

3. उम्र का फर्क भी बहुत मायने रखता है। बड़े लोग आसानी से अपने आप को बदल नहीं पाते और उनमें एक आधिपत्य की भावना होती है, फिर वह मां ही क्यों न हो। ऐसे में बहु की महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका होती है। बहु को थोड़ा समझना चाहिए।

4. अहम को छोड़ देना चाहिए। जब तक “मैं” रहेगी, चाहे वह सास मे हो या बहु मे, रिश्ता कभी नहीं बन पाएगा। एक ने कही दूसरे ने मानी, इसी का नाम बुद्धिमानी। किन्तु कोई ज़रूरी नहीं कि हर बार न चाहते हुए भी हां करें। चार बार कहना मानें तो एक बार नहीं भी मानेंगे तो चलेगा।

5. बच्चों से सीखना चाहिए। अभी झगड़ा हुआ और अभी मेल मिलाप हो गया। कभी किसी बात पर वाद विवाद हो भी जाए तो उसको भूलना ही बेहतर है। यदी उस झगड़े को लेकर आगे बढेंगे तो कभी दोस्त नहीं बन पाएंगे।

6. किसी भी रिश्ते में मर्यादा का ध्यान रखना ज़रूरी होता है। हर व्यक्ति का अपना द्रष्टिकोण होता है। उसके द्रष्टिकोण को भी उतनी ही एहमियत देनी चाहिए जितनी स्वयं को। झुकने मे कोई व्यक्ति छोटा नहीं हो जाता।

7. अपनी गलतियों को भी देखना व पहचानना चाहिए और सुधारना चाहिए और जितनी जल्दी हो सके माफी मांगना चाहिए।

8. किसी भी रिश्ते मे 100 प्रतिशत तो नहीं मिलते। इसलिए यदि जो हमारी ओर से 50% है, यदि हम वो सारा दे दें तो दूसरी ओर से 25% तो मिल ही जाएगा। 75% अच्छा होने से वह रिश्ता अच्छा ही होता है।

9. सास , बहु और वो। यह वो हर जगह परेशान करता है। पति, पत्नी और वो के रिश्ते की तरह इस रिश्ते में भी कोई तीसरा आए, चाहे वो कोई भी हो तो मन मुटाव बढ़ जाता है। किसी दूसरे की बात पर ध्यान न देकर आपसी मत भेद को आपस मे ही मिटाए तो अच्छा रहता है। फोन पर कभी सास अपनी बेटी से या बहु नी मां से अगर एक दूसरे की बुराई करें तो वह भी दरार का कारण बनती है। यहां तक कि पति और ससुर को भी इस रिश्ते से दूर रखना चाहिए।

10. बहु की बेटी से या दूसरे कि बहुओं से और सास की मां से या फिर दूसरे की सास से तुलना न करें। आशाएं न रखें। किसी ने कुछ कर दिया तो भी अच्छा और अगर न किया तो भी अच्छा। उनकी क्षमता को देखते हुए व्यवहार करना चाहिए। क्षमता से बाहर तो मां भी अपनी बेटी को मना कर देती है। यदि मां डांटें तो कोई बात नहीं और यदि सास ने कुछ कहा तो मुहल्ले मे ढिंढोरा पीट दिया, ऐसा भी नहीं होना चाहिए।

जानती हूँ कि कहना आसान होता है पर करना मुश्किल, फिर भी कोशिश तो करी जा सकती है आखिर घर भी हमारा है और रिश्ते भी। और वैसे भी, तोड़ने से बेहतर तो जोड़ना ही है।

Posted in Blogs, Children, Life style, parenting, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Parent Teacher Relationship: Don’t criticize, Lets Coordinate

 This post was first published on mycity4kids : https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/parent-teacher-relationship-don-t-criticise-lets-coordinate

The Conversation that rules:

Every day, when I go to pick up my daughter from the bus stop, a general discussion starts among the mothers. It generally revolves around their ward’s school performance and most importantly their teachers. Often the mothers accuse the teachers for their children’s unsatisfactory academic performance.

A common conversation is heard:

Mother 1: “How’s the new class teacher of your child? My daughter’s teacher is very strict. Yesterday, she scolded her for no reason.”

Mother 2: “Even my child’s teacher is not good. She doesn't acknowledge his good work. He has improved his handwriting so much but the teacher doesn't even appreciate her efforts. At least, one star or smiley can be given to boost the confidence.”

Mother 3: “Teachers these days are least bothered. They don't even teach well. I have hired a tutor for my son.”

The Constant Judgement:

Just then the bus arrives, mothers immediately ask their children,

“What happened in school today? What did Ma’am say? Did she scold you even today?” Based on the child’s remarks, they form a judgement about the teachers. If the child says, “Ma’am appreciated me in front of the whole class”, the teacher is termed as “good”. Sometimes children accuse teachers for being unfair and biased. “My teacher always appreciates Jasmine, she never gives me stars.” Parents immediately label the teacher as “ineffective” or “partial”. This way we constantly judge the teachers.

Similarly, the teachers also judge the parents based on the child’s uniform, behavior, homework, projects, handwriting, etc. If the child’s handwriting is good, notebooks are neat and clean, the teacher thinks that the parents are involved in the child’s education. The parents are “good”, if the child’s homework is “good”.

parent teacher

The Blame Game:

If there is some problem with the child, the teacher often blames the parents as being irresponsible and negligent. They would immediately call the parents to rectify it. The parents also accuse the teacher as being inefficient if their child’s results are unsatisfactory. They blame the teachers for their child’s poor grades and bad behavior. They want the teacher to be changed. This kind of mistrust and lack of respect for each other adversely affects the child.

At home front also, a similar scenario exists. Whenever the child gets poor grades or misbehaves, parents blame each other and holds the other responsible for it.

Whenever the parents and the teacher blame each other for the child’s misconduct, the one who suffers the most is the child. The child begins to disrespect and disobey the teachers and the parents.

Forming a Team:

Parents and teachers share the same goal i.e. the overall development of the child. When they share the same goal, they should form a team and work together to achieve it. Instead of judging and blaming each other, they should trust and respect each other. This way the child will also learn to respect and obey them. The child will also learn to trust them and stop complaining about them.

parent teacher2

Communication and Coordination:

Teachers and parents must have a positive and regular communication. In this way, they can establish a healthy relationship and diminish blaming. Teachers can communicate with the parents about the strengths and weaknesses of the child. Similarly, the parents can also communicate with the teachers about the problems which might be affecting the child’s performance and behavior in school. Similarly, the parents should trust and help each other in the upbringing of the child at home. In this way, they can have a coordination which can do wonders for the betterment of the child.

Would you like to read more about teachers? Read this wonderful blog by Charu Sareen Gujjal here.

 

Posted in Blogs, Children, Life style, parenting, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Teacher: Sharing our Burden and Caring For Our Children

This article was first published on mycity4kids: https://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/my-kids-my-wings/article/teacher-sharing-our-burden-and-caring-for-our-children

Recently I was facing some problems in my home front due to which I couldn't send my daughter to school, she told me that she was selected for a participation in an event in her school. It was very important to attend her school. I was in a dilemma. On the one hand, was the situation which required my immediate attention and on the other hand, was my daughter’s auditions in her school.

“What should I do now? If she doesn't go to her school, she will miss her auditions. Her participation is very important for her.” I kept thinking. 

I thought of talking to her teacher. I sent her a message telling her about my problem. She told me that she would consider. I felt as if a burden was lifted off my shoulders.

Two years back, when I was expecting my second baby, I had certain complications and was advised bed rest. I could pay very little attention on my daughter's studies which started affecting her academic performance. I sent a message to her class teacher and informed her about my condition. Her teacher understood our problems and helped my daughter a lot. She not only provided academic help but gave her emotional support as well. Her immense love and care helped my daughter in sailing through even those days when I was in the hospital. I felt very grateful to her for all that she did for us.

This kind of informal interaction with the teachers has always helped me and my daughter in solving her problems at home or at school. I would like to thank all the teachers who not only take care of our children in school but give more than their usual time for the betterment of our children.

Having an informal and healthy interaction with the teachers is a very important asset and can prove to be very helpful in our children’s development. We can discuss the problems faced by our children on a day to day basis. Earlier, we could meet the teachers only on parent teacher meetings which were formal interactions. We could only discuss the result and report cards of the child.

Parent-teacher-Conference

We expect so much from the teachers of our children. We lay the entire responsibility of the academic development of our children on them. The teacher gets to spend only half an hour per subject in a classroom of over 40 students. She must include so many things in her curriculum and look after many aspects. How can we expect her to excel each child in every sphere?

At home, at times, we find it difficult to teach our kids. We often hire tutors for our children to teach them. In school, a teacher must teach so many students in a class wherein each child is unique and has different capabilities. It would be unfair on our part to expect a teacher to know and understand every child’s caliber and potential.

The parent teacher meetings that are conducted at regular intervals are also very helpful in the development of our children. It gives the parent an opportunity to interact not only with the teachers but also with other parents as well. We can thus bond with other parents too. This way we can get to know the areas where our child is doing well and where he needs our support.

PTM board

If we want our child to excel, we must interact informally with the teachers regularly. We should also take out time to attend the parent teacher meeting. It helps the teacher in getting to know our child better. Since the aim of both the teacher and the parent is same, we must bridge the gap between the parent teacher relationship and work together as a team for an all-round development of our child.

Posted in Blogs, Life style, parenting, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Mother India and Dangal: Role Models For Every Parent

We all have seen the Indian classic movie, Mother India. Radha, the female protagonist goes through many hardships to bring her two sons on her own. But later, when her son, Birju, tries to kidnap Sukhilal’s daughter on the day of her wedding, Radha herself shoots him. A mother who sacrifices so much for her sons was the first one to punish him, when he disrespects a girl. Motherhood did not come in the way of justice. Loving her child is one thing but justice is another thing. We get blinded by our love for our kids and overlook their mistakes and ill treatment towards others.  

In our Indian society, son’s are often treated as Gods. They are forgiven for every small or bigger mistakes that they do. We have often read how teenagers involved in hit and run cases are left without any punishment as their parents go to any extent to save them. They get blinded in their love for their children and forget justice.

Boys and young men who mistreats their female counterparts are very often justified by saying, “ ladke to masti karte hi hain , ladkiyon ko sambhal kar rehna chahiye.”( boys like to have fun, girls should be careful). This attitude encourages the boys to go to any extent and do whatever they feel like with girls. When they see their parents supporting them and coming out to save them from legal punishments, they become bold to commit bigger crimes.

If the mothers of boys punish them for their ill treatments towards girls, they will learn not to go further next time. If mothers become as strong as Radha,in Mother India, no boy will dare to trouble any girl. The recent Bengaluru incident shows that men are becoming fearless, they know that nothing will be done to them even if they take the liberty to do anything with women anywhere.


This fearless attitude and excessive freedom comes from their homes where they are treated as superior and let go for any of their mistakes. This incident is big slap on our society. How we are bringing up our boys? What are we teaching them? How can they dare to go to such an extent? They are not afraid of their parents. They are not afraid of police. They do not have any values.

On the other hand, the movie Dangal, shows a father who goes against the society to make his girls wrestlers. He is extremely strict with his girls and despite their resentment , he makes them strong and at par with the boys. He strongly believes that girls are no less than the boys. Every father must make his girl strong and bold enough to face the challenges of life. Girls are often taught to be submissive and are made to believe that they are not as strong as boys. This makes them helpless in situations like Bengaluru New Year incident.

I appreciate Mr Akshay Kumar when he says that girls do not need to think of themselves as weak. With a few martial arts techniques they can easily defend themselves and teach the boys a lesson who come to touch them without their consent. He is extremely right to say that once our girls decide to fight back, no boy will ever dare to even look at them.

If fathers become like Mahavir Phogat and Akshay Kumar and make their girls strong enough to defend themselves, no boy will be able to even think of coming near them.


The two protagonists, Radha and Mahavir Phogat, set a very good example for all the parents in a way that in the present scenario where we see boys disrespecting girls and especially the Bengaluru New Year incident , it is very important to punish our boys severely when they do something wrong and make our girls so strong that they can easily defend themselves and beat the molesters easily .

Posted in Blogs, Life style, Senior Citizens, Social Responsibilty

This Couple Defied the Norms of The Society to “Live In” Together

I recently came across this article which shared the story of an old couple who lived together for 50 years and got married recently. This old couple in MP were very much in love but could not gain the approval for marriage by their families. They defied their families and lived together for 50 years.
80 years old Sukhe Kushwasha and 75 years old Hariya lived together for 50 years when they were not allowed to marry each other by their respective families. They moved in together and continued to live happily. They have 4 children and a gaggle of grandchildren. It was only after the thought for salvation started sinking in their old age, the couple decided to get married. Appreciating their thoughts and feelings, their elder son, took the advice of the priest and the elders from their village and arranged for their wedding. The entire family and friends participated in the event happily.
The story struck me because “live in” relationships have not gained so much approval in our country so far. Though they are slowly gaining ground. But majorly, marriages are considered as essential for a man and woman to stay together.
On the one hand, couples are forced to marry each other even when they don’t want to and the result is years of sufferings and pain. Relationships fail and break, leaving behind years of agony. On the other hand, there are couple like Sukhe and Hariya, who wanted to marry each other but were denied by their families. They started living in together and continued happily for 50 years.
The question I want to raise is that should marriage be a forced institution? Why can’t the decision be left on the couple to decide? Why can’t couples be left with this decision on their own whether they do want to marry or not?
The other aspect of this story is the ‘live in’ relationship. “Live in” are still to gain equal amount of respect and acceptance as marriage. This couple sets an example for ‘live in’ relationships by making it as equally a strong and long-term relationship as marriages.
This story certainly makes one point clear that married or not some relationships are made in heaven.
 Source: http://www.hindustantimes.com/india-news/mp-old-live-in-couple-of-50-years-marries-for-moksha/story-revwNnv8n3o7n3Xnfyz33I.html
 
 

Posted in Blogs, Children, Life style, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Teaching Job as the “Best and Only Job” for Women

Today’s, morning papers brought to my notice a very interesting article on “Why Teaching is the ‘only job’ for women” which almost took me down the memory lane. 

Some years back when I finished schooling and was deciding as to which career line I should opt for, I was advised by my elders that I should take up a subject in college which would help me become a teacher. I had no interest in that profession and not even the slightest inclination towards it. I took up the subject of my choice with plans of my own. But slowly and gradually I was convinced to pursue Teachers Training course as “Teaching is the best and only job” for girls.

Girls, be it then and now, have always been reminded or told every now and then that ultimately they have to take care of their house and children. Because of that teaching has always been seen as a profession most suitable for girls. It is the only profession which goes highly amongst the prospective groom’s family who are very happy if the would be daughter in law is a teacher.

Another, factor which makes it a favourite profession for girls is because it is the only profession where in the mother can take their children along with her to her work place, so no burden on any body.

Teaching also becomes a favourite profession by some family because of its timing. Teachers come back by afternoon and can take care of the household and perform all the chores. Therefore, a “double bonanza”. Along with the household duties they can teach their children also which further saves the money spent on tuitions.

Also, it is considered that it makes it easier for the girls to find a suitable boy because the prospective in laws would happily accept a girl who is a teacher for the simple reason that it allows girls to perform household chores as well.

A girl who is working as a teacher is always preferred over a girl who is working in a corporate sector by the prospective groom’s family. And for some reasons girls who take up teaching profession are considered as more ‘homely’.

The icing on the cake would be if the girl is a teacher in a government school because then she will be getting a pension upon retirement and therefore no liability on the groom.

Aren’t all these notions creating more and more gender biases? Aren’t these thoughts somewhere killing the dreams and aspirations of the girls? The featuring article itself talks about the story of a principal who aspired to be a doctor. Not all the girls would like to be a teacher. Girls are multi talented and much more capable but just because they have to get married one day and bear children, they should take up this profession if at all they want to work after marriage.

Isn’t it better to tell them simply that they should not dream of becoming something because their ultimate destiny is to take care of children rather then educating them and slowly convincing them to be a teacher rather than becoming something else? A lot has been changed over the years but even today as the article itself says, “teaching is considered as the only job for women”.

Teaching is certainly a good profession but girls should be given more choices and not only convinced to take it up just because they have to get married and bear children one day. They can do much more than that.

Source:  http://www.hindustantimes.com/class-of-2018/indians-are-educating-their-daughters-but-will-only-let-them-work-as-teachers.html

Posted in Blogs, Life style, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

This Teacher Did What No one Else Can Do For Her Student

We normally expect a teacher to teach the subject she masters to her students, guide and groom them in whatever best possible ways. The teacher who loves her students dearly and cares for them in the school environment is often seen as doing much more for her students. Recently, I came across an article about a teacher not only went out of her way for her student but did what nobody else can do.

Nancy Bleuer, a loving and caring 54 years old kindergarten teacher from Iowa, goes out of her way to make her students happy. One day, she noticed something unusual with one of her students called Camden. She had a little chat with him and found out that his father was suffering from some kidney problems which made them function on 20% of their capacities. The sick look of his father during the dialysis treatment made Camden terrified.

What kind of help do you think a teacher would offer under these circumstances?

Well, Nancy offered one of her own kidneys!

Miraculously, it happened to be a perfect match. By giving her kidney to Camden’s dad, she saved his life giving him another chance to live.

How many of us would really do what Nancy did if we are faced with similar circumstances?

 

In a world where we come across news of murders, rapes, terrorists attacks, crimes and killings of every kind, I cannot express what I felt after reading this article. For a minute I dismissed it by telling myself that it can’t be true. But, no it isn’t. There are people who really are humans, rather more than humans. People like Nancy are setting examples of words like hope, love and kindness and tell us that these are not just words. They actually mean something.

For humanity to exist in today’s world, we really need to spread the story of Nancy and thank her from the bottom of our hearts for what she has done really means a lot. With her angelic act, she has set an example for millions to follow.


Source: http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/preschool-teacher-give-kidney-students-father-shes-giving/story?id=47607449