Blogs, Life style, parenting, Uncategorized

Stay at Home Mom vs. Working Mom: The Child Speaks

Last week, there was a Mother’s Day celebration in my daughter’s school. She was very excited since it was her first performance in her newly joined school. She asked me to come early and take the first seat, which would make it possible for her to see me. I reached her school in time and as instructed by her took a seat in the front row.
Children came in a row and my daughter quickly spotted me. She started beaming with joy and waving at me. They performed beautifully and in the middle of the performance too, my daughter was waving at me. After the performance, there were several fun activities to be performed by mom and child. All the while, my daughter was dancing here and there, jumping with delight telling everyone, how pretty her mother looks. She came to me, bowed in front of me and said, “Your majesty, you look so beautiful.”

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Just then my eyes fell on a little girl who was sitting in a corner of the stage looking very sad. I went to her and asked her as to what happened and where was her mother.
She started weeping and said, “My mother did not come today. She has gone for her duty. She comes very late at night. Its mother’s day celebration today, I was performing for her but she did not come.”
I took her in my lap, she hugged me tight and started wailing even more. I tried my best consoling her and told her mom loves you and she will come soon. She kept repeating, “Mom is never with me, she comes very late at night. She leaves the house early every day.”
She kept sitting in my lap for some time till it was time for lunch. All the children happily sat down to eat their lunch but that girl was still sad. She sat alone, opened her lunch box had a bite or two and kept it back in her bag. She looked at other moms who were there for their kids with tears in her eyes. The sadness in her eyes, the way she looked at other moms with their kids was the heart-wrenching.
In the afternoon, when my elder one came back from school, she hugged me tight and said, “Mom, I got full marks in my English test and Hindi dictation. It is all because of you.”
The debate of going back to work after having kids will go on forever and whatever decision a mother takes is always the best for her child and her family. But I must say, this incident and the teary-eyed look of that little girl will stay in my heart forever.

This post is also published on Momspresso.

Pic courtesy : pexels

 

 

 

Blogs, Life style, parenting, Social Responsibilty, Uncategorized

Stay at home mom vs. working mom: Neighbourhood speaks

Being a woman is difficult. At every point in time, a woman has to take some really difficult decisions and make some really difficult choices. One of these major decisions is whether to continue one’s career or not after having kids. Sometimes the decision is entirely one’s own and sometimes it is circumstantial. Whatever it might be, but it’s really unfair to be judgemental and pass harsh comments without knowing about the real reason behind.
I was a working woman when my elder one was born and continued my work for a fairly long period. But after the birth of my second one, I gave up since it was difficult for me to create a fair balance. I don’t have any regrets now and neither I am going to dwell on it for past is past. What I am going to talk about is a really funny incident which happened to me recently.

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I was visiting my mum this week and took my kids to a nearby park in the morning. While my kids were enjoying themselves on the swings, one of my mum’s old friends saw me and came to meet me. She greeted me smilingly and asked about my well being.
She continued and asked me, “So, what are you doing these days? Are you doing anything or simply sitting at home doing nothing? Why did you give up your profession despite being so qualified? You are wasting your education and all the money your parents spent on your education.” She then continued by saying, “you must learn from our mistakes. I was a teacher but left my job for my kids and now the same kids ask me that why you did not do anything. You know even your own kids consider you worthless if you are not working. It is extremely important for a woman to work for it develops the mind.”

She went on and on giving me this very valuable piece of advice while I kept questioning her remarks in my mind.
This is extremely a strange how people perceive a stay at home mother as. First of all, it is considered as a waste of education and qualification along with the ‘money’ that parents’ spend on educating their daughters. Does it really so? Does education ever gets wasted? That means we should not be educating our daughters because if they choose to stay at home after having kids, the ‘money’ and the ‘degrees’ will get wasted.
Secondly, a woman who is not ‘working’ as in the professional terms or has a job outside the house is doing ‘nothing’ and sitting idle all day long. Hmm!
Is that so? Then who is managing the house, taking care of kids, their health, education, co-curricular activities, so on and so forth?

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Third, a job is necessary for the development of mind. Okay! I definitely never knew that!
Last but not the least, since the conversation was pretty long, “kids consider a stay at home mom as worthless or do not value her.” Again, a point of disagreement there. If a woman is educated and strong, nobody can dare to consider her worthless. For when she values herself strongly, people’s reaction doesn’t matter and she definitely knows how to handle her kids.
My point is that I have been a working mom as well as a stay at home. I do think that to take a decision in either way is tough. But in the end, she knows what will work best for her family and if she decides, either way, she must be respected and supported by it.

picture courtesy: pixabay.com

This post is also published at momspresso.com